The Silver Fox and The Lonely Wolf
by GoEunAh
Summary: While facing the reality that Jasper, her childhood best friend might be in love with her. There is also Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the older man that was only a one night stand, but now is her boss and fully intends to be much more if Bella will allow him. After an affair that ruined her friendship and being in the final year of school, she lives with the consequences of her actions.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: **

_I enjoy writing the characters of Twilight in abnormal ways, so I wrote this. _

_Enjoy _

* * *

"How did we end up here Isabella," my voice rang out to speak to none other than myself.

A heavy sigh released from my lungs, but was interrupted midway by a hiccup/burp that tasted like the shots of tequila I had practically inhaled hours ago.

Eventually those shots caught up with me and now here I was hidden in a private lounge room at a club.

I grunted at the room hoping it would signal that as a command to stop spinning, but around it went, even in my stationary position.

Would a fetal position suffice?

One slight movement and the alcohol induced carousel increased speed, so back down I went.

Tears began to well my eyes at the memory of my best friend and I discovering that her boyfriend of six years had been unfaithful. Alice walked in on Jasper - who was admittedly heavily intoxicated – undressing, an also heavily intoxicated woman. In any other circumstance, I would without a doubt say that if I were Alice I would've killed them both, because no excuse and amount of alcohol pardons the sin of infidelity.

But since it was I that Jasper was trying to undress, I'm really trying to paint myself as the victim. Of course there are no valid circumstances, no acceptable excuse.

Yes, we were drunk.

But we were also acknowledging an itch that both of us had tried to ignore well before there was an Alice and Jasper.

Like two goofs we decided that if we scratched the itch before their relationship started that would be all we needed. We spent an entire weekend together, bumping uglies in the most ugliest yet beautifully orgasmic way. And then Jasper belonged to Alice, she had expressed interest in him and Jasper truly liked her in return. And yet between us was a sexual tension that was thicker than an unkept unibrow.

I thought one weekend was enough, until three years into their relationship Alice was dumb enough to leave us alone while she ran off to work. It would have been fine but we forgot for a split second that he had a penis and I, a vagina. We took part in our usual playful banter that turned physical as it always did, except minus Alice. She was the magnetic force field that blocked all sexual attraction between us, so of course it seemed as if we were over it.

Until Jasper had me pinned onto the ground, arms twisted uncomfortably behind my back in a hold, while he drilled into me a message that was loud and clear.

'I'm a piece of shit. And so are you.'

Was that the last time?

Absolutely not, I'm a piece of shit and when two turds unite, they create an ever bigger pile of stinky shit.

Every chance we got, we screwed each other relentlessly. For two months straight I further cemented the doom of my friendship with Alice by allowing the love of her life to shove his face between my legs and send me through the roof of my condo and not ashamed of letting my neighbors know who was responsible.

Did I feel guilty every time I saw them together?

Is the fact that Pluto is no longer a planet bullshit?

It was only Jasper that kept me from confessing my betrayal. And to make myself an ever shittier person, it wasn't his words. It was his dick, his tongue and fingers that kept me silent.

Eventually we realized that we had to stop or I should say we always knew we had to stop and just finally put some will power into it. As much as we loved the feeling of him inside of me, we loved Alice more.

So with a final thrust and wig snatching orgasm, we called it quits.

Until the very night Alice once again left us alone, but this time with Vodka. Honestly, we made it three years! Which was the same as last time, but still! It was hard knowing the damage Jasper was capable of, three years of denying myself was difficult work.

And apparently it was with shots of liquid stupidity that we both wanted to recognize our efforts by getting naked and rewarding ourselves in the only way we knew how.

In steps Alice, who leaves without a word, only tears in her eyes.

I was supposed to run after her, but my legs were jelly and my clothes were gone.

That was two weeks ago, nothing from Alice and Jasper is my best friend and now my roommate. Reaching out to Alice was pointless, what reason would we have to speak? What would be said?

'I'm sorry I had sex with your boyfriend.' I'm not really sure I am.

But guilt drowned my conscience nonetheless, so alcohol was the solution to numb my feelings. It never worked, but it was a nice temporary distraction.

Jasper walked through the door and watched my drunken state. I smiled up at him.

"You found me!" My stomach responded negatively to sitting up too quickly, the urge to vomit came so fast I didn't have a chance to decide where I would upchuck my insides. Jasper's shoes, that's where all the liquor and French fries ended up.

I fell back onto the couch, Jasper could only sigh.

"You have to take responsibility for me, it's your fault I'm like this." I mumbled. "I mean, why are you so good at sex? Was Alice not enough? Why'd you have to drag me in it?"

"Let's go home," Jasper grabbed my arms, pulling me effortlessly onto my feet and onto his shoulder. The movement caused the room to move even more violently, my eyelids shut tight as I tried to gather my bearings.

* * *

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun seemed to have gotten ten times brighter because it felt like it was trying cook my eyeballs right out of their sockets.

Being greeted by the all too common side effects of having too much to drink was starting to irritate me. I didn't enjoy the feeling of my head about to explode at any moment.

The door to my bedroom opened and Jasper looked down at me, his mouth turned downward.

"I don't want your pity," I snatched the covers over my head.

"Come eat." He shut the door.

I groaned. I knew I smelled bacon, either that or I was having a stroke. I'd be satisfied with the latter all the same.

My club outfit was swapped out for a bra and shorts and I didn't smell like vomit. I sniffed my hair and it smelled like shampoo. I had been bathed.

"Damn you, Jasper." I shuffled out of my room and into the kitchen. He was caring when I was trying to hate him. I was failing miserably.

I parked myself onto a bar stool at the counter and Jasper sat a plate filled with grease and carbs in front of me. I dove right in, shoving the bacon into my mouth, followed by pancakes and eggs.

He watched me, propped against the counter, arms crossed and so damn beautiful. His light brown eyes didn't hold anything telling of his current mood, but the scruff that was on his jaw and chin told me he hasn't cared too much to maintain his physical appearance. He wasn't a prissy man, but he did take pride in his outer appearance and how the world saw him. His build was lean, but he maintained physical excellence by a disciplined regimen of exercise and diet, his frame was deceptive. He was a lot stronger than he looked. Jasper stood at least four inches over me and was currently sporting a man bun positioned low at the nape of his neck, his hair barely long enough to pull off the look.

"You can't keep getting drunk at my job, me carrying out a drunk woman every week isn't the greatest look for me."

"But it's the same woman," I argued. "I think it shows your caring side, you could just leave me there."

"To drown in your own vomit?" He arched an eyebrow at his rhetorical question.

"Sounds like a plausible way to go out," I shrugged, chugging the glass of orange juice that accompanied my breakfast.

"You're the owner of the place, what are you gonna do, get fired?"

"Or ban the woman that drinks all my liquor and then passes out in my V.I.P. rooms."

He looked pointedly at me, his high cheekbones and narrow nose actually making his appearance sort of threatening. But I knew better, we've known each other since grade school. Mostly bark, with some bite.

"Is that how you repay my kindness? I let you move in and in return you kick me out of your club? I'll just go to the other one. I'm sure Edward would enjoy my company more."

At the sound of his co-owner and friend's name he scowled. One thing Jasper is: jealous. And he didn't hide it either. We weren't in a relationship and I'm sure we never would be, at least I think so. But Jasper knew that Edward liked me (Not that Edward was subtle about it), also Edward didn't know I was Jasper's sex toy. Or so I assumed.

"Does Edward know?" I asked Jasper, as he took my happy plate.

"What? That I make you scream my name in five different octaves? Maybe."

They're best friends. Why wouldn't he know Bella? The only reason I didn't tell my own best friend was because…I was a piece of shit.

"Suck it up Swan, we have to face the consequences. We hurt her, bad. Let's give her some more time, apologize and move on."

"You're not sad? Heartbroken? Devastated?" I inquired in disbelief in his apparent apathy.

"I love Alice, but if I truly loved her," he paused. "I wouldn't have milked her best friend all over her apartment."

"Yes, talk about it as if I'm not the cow your referring to." I said in a flat, dry tone.

"We gave it six years, I was going to break up with her anyway."

"Why didn't you just do it," I threw a tantrum, whining and kicking my feet. My head fell onto the counter top.

Unlike him, I hadn't fallen out of love with Alice. She was one of my closest friends and I hurt her, but what's worse is that like Jasper, it was clear I didn't love her enough to stay away from the one thing that was off limits to me.

Jasper and I knew each other before Alice came into the picture. Alice and I met in college and before she even asked Jasper out, she asked me if there was anything between us. At the time it was an honest response, no. Sure I had thought about it, but Jasper hadn't shown any interest either. That was until Alice went away to visit her parents and Jasper came over and took me in every room and every position for three days straight and then left as if nothing happened. And for three years we did pretend nothing happened, until we relapsed, stopped again and now here we are.

It was complicated. So complicated that I didn't even know what was happening.

But I knew I needed to apologize to Alice. Even if we never speak again, she at least needed to know that I was sorry. Sorry she got stuck between two assholes that didn't deserve her.

I slid off of the stool and walked back into my room. It was going to be a lazy Saturday for me, the plan was to see if it were possible to die by death of sunbathing. Sprawled out on my patio, I began to test the theory. The California sun was bare just like my disloyal deeds, not a cloud in sight.

After only thirty minutes, it was decided to no longer run from the fact that I was an adult with responsibilities, I begrudgingly got up and went inside to do work. My decision was also heavily inspired by the doofus Cane Corso that lives in my backyard; when he brought his 105 pound frame over and began to try to lick my face, it was time to vacate.

"Bruce, you shouldn't console me right now. Let me atone for my sins."

My dog huffed in response and continued his attempt at covering my face with his saliva. I loved him dearly, but never will I allow him to lick me with the same tongue I watched him use to lick dead animals and his own ballsack.

So I got up and left, going back into my condo with Bruce tagging along.

"I'm off to work," Jasper came from his bedroom, which he didn't even use, only to store his items. He chose to invade my bed every night.

He didn't kiss me goodbye, he barely looked my direction. He just left.

I looked down at Bruce who looked up at me. "I'm just as perplexed as you, he's not my boyfriend, but he sure does have a lot of boyfriend privileges."

I was happily single, my last relationship was abandoned because fidelity was a word I'm not quite familiar with apparently. Unlike Jasper I couldn't cheat on someone I cared about and still remain with them. Mike was a great guy, he was sweet, funny and was everything a girl could ask for. But over the two years of us dating, I felt nothing, he just didn't do it for me. So I broke things off after my second time of sleeping with Jasper. I didn't tell him why, just simply that I couldn't prioritize him the way he wanted me to. Yes, I chose my work and education over him. I spent three long years, not including undergrad and my masters program working towards my research in clinical neuroscience. To attempt a serious relationship was foolish to begin with, but in the beginning I was hopeful and Mike was persistent. So I caved and allowed him to take the backseat and my work rode shotgun, scratch that, Mike was in the trunk, I barely invested in him.

He complained early on and continued to complain, but he never broke up with me. Eventually I wanted him to, which should've been my incentive to end things with him, not penetration from Jasper Whitlock.

When I did break up with him, he didn't fight, he didn't ask why. He stood from my couch and left; I hadn't heard from his since.

I'm not lonely, of course at one point I missed sex, but I was content.

In strolled Jasper and his knack for making me cum. Once again, we never spoke of seeking a relationship, for some odd reason we just wanted to use each other sexually. And it wasn't always like that, when we were younger we behaved almost like siblings. We got dirty together, fought together (mostly it was between ourselves), got in trouble by our parents, he even nearly killed me by pushing me from a tree. Up until college I could've sworn I just imagined Jasper was like a Ken doll; he had no male parts.

And then wham! He's this tall piece of meat that I just want to hump at all times of the day. And now I do.

How did I even get here?

* * *

When Jasper returned home, it was five in the morning and I was working on grading papers for one of the classes I instructed at UCLA. While I pursued my doctorate there, I was required to teach in exchange for a stipend and funding for my research. It was something I actually desired unlike most of my colleagues. I was interested in the work of those who were pursuing Psychology in their undergraduate program, it wasn't forgotten that I was once in their shoes.

My sleep schedule was knocked off on the weekends by my new roomie, since he worked from the late afternoon into the early mornings Friday into Sunday, he would come home and disrupt my sleep so that he could get his rocks off or simply annoy me with conversation.

So I quickly learned to get my sleep while he was gone and then remain awake for when he came home.

"Papers?" He said while stripping from his clothes.

I nodded, staying focused on my laptop at my desk. He disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the shower go off, I took the moment to take Bruce outside.

Bruce got up from his spot next to me and followed me, suddenly rushing outside to chase the squirrel that was minding its own business moving across the lawn. I shut the door behind him and went back to my bedroom, noting the last paragraph I left off on the paper I was grading.

When Jasper came out of the bathroom, he was drying his hair, a towel wrapped lazily around his waist. I licked my lips, I was waiting for the moment I would get tired of him.

It still hadn't arrived, I craved him just as much as I did when I first realized he had a penis.

"How was work? Carry any drunk women out?"

"Fortunately no, she didn't appear and projectile vomit on me."

"Thank goodness, even though projectile is an exaggeration."

He looked at me, with his typical lazy gaze, but I caught the message of 'Don't test me'.

"We had a guest DJ, so we were busier than usual."

_Elysium _was one of the clubs he co-owned with Edward, his college roommate. _Styx _was the other establishment he owned, but was overlooked by Edward. They both had a weird fascination with Greek and Roman mythology, hence the the titles of their clubs.

Jasper had decided half way through obtaining his law degree that he didn't want to be a lawyer like his father. He's been estranged from his parents ever since, but he couldn't stand the idea of helping people who deserved to be punished and detested the idea of convicting the potentially innocent just as well. The politics of law was too much for him, so he quit even with being at the top of his class.

Edward Masen has a similar story, except he finished his medical program and was about to start his residency when his parents were killed in a car accident on their way to his commencement. He never went back after that, choosing to pursue a career somewhere else that didn't remind him of his parents' untimely demise.

Together they ran two of the most successful nightclubs in the downtown Los Angeles community, garnering attention from celebrities to college students.

"Mom called me," he informed me. "She wants to know when we're coming over for dinner."

"Renée could've called me and asked me herself," we both knew my mom didn't call me because I wouldn't have answered, I was terrible at communication with her.

Jasper was like a son to her, so she spoke to him often and sometimes to check up on me.

"Soon," I said checking my emails on my phone.

Jasper crawled onto the bed, moving into the space between my legs.

"She said 'soon' is not an acceptable answer." He moved my arms out of the way, smacking my phone from my hands to capture one of my nipples between his teeth, how he managed to find it over my t shirt was beyond me.

He removed his towel and grabbed one of my legs, pulling me downward so that I lay beneath him.

"Can we not talk about my mom while we have sex? That's the quickest way to ruin the mood."

He took off my underwear and shirt, so he was no longer the only naked one.

"Why? Don't want her to know you're screwing your brother?"

"That's a terrible joke, you're making it worse."

He wasted no time in reuniting us, we moaned in unison. My legs naturally wrapped around him, the rhythm of my hips in sync with his. His tongue and mouth found my nipple again, playing with the hard nub with his teeth.

Fuck, he knew exactly how to work my body, like an instrument, he played the hell out of me.

Before finding his own release I had mine several times over, even after a long night of dealing with drunkards and obnoxiously loud music, Jasper got all the way home and sexed me up.

As he slept, his head resting on my stomach, I pondered on if that meant something. Was there something between us that neither of us was acknowledging or was it just me that was missing it?

From the outside looking in Alice and Jasper were happy, even in their dark times, they seemed to be meant for each other. I never looked at Alice with envy or felt she had something that was mine. So why was it easy to tear them apart? Why didn't I resist? Honor my dear friend? Even now, I shouldn't be in bed with him, if I had any sense of morality I would've ended this the moment we were caught.

My hand found Jasper's hair, I twirled a few strands around my finger. He slept peacefully on top of me, I noticed that he had even shaven.

He was moving on.

But towards what?

That was the answer I needed to know from him and I wouldn't be able to think clearly until I got it.


	2. Chapter 2

Edward sat across from me, boring a hole into my face while I worked on my research.

Since Jasper moved in, Edward's visits to my place have tripled. He's been over for dinners I've hosted for friends, we had a good friendship but nothing that would warrant him coming over alone.

Now because of my new roommate, Edward was over here every other day; sometimes for work and the rest for an apparent lack of a social life.

Today it was the latter, Jasper was cooking dinner and Edward decided to invite himself over, which was tradition when Jasper and Alice lived together. It wasn't burdensome for Alice because she was sweet as pie and also Jasper's girlfriend.

To Edward, I was fair game.

"How's school coming along?" He asked finally after watching me for at least five minutes.

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to give him the time of day but also genuinely wrapped up in my work.

"Have I told you that I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in lov…"

"Jasper!" I shouted out into the kitchen, my eyes still focused on my laptop screen.

Jasper came from the kitchen. "What?"

I looked up at Edward, then at Jasper. "Your friend is being a complete idiot." I sighed out before returning to work.

"Ednerd, walk away she's not interested."

"Once you're done with school, you're mine Swan. Just wait."

Don't hold your breath.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with Edward, he was extremely handsome, I've heard it said that he rivaled the looks of Adonis - by some over exaggerating females. With bronze colored hair that seemed to never be maintained, striking emerald eyes, cheekbones that put Johnny Depp's to shame and a set of perfectly full lips, Edward Masen was a walking fantasy. I adored his crooked grin, he held the best conversations and was supportive and kind.

Admittedly I was the idiot, he should've been mine the moment he expressed interest. But Edward was actually like a brother to me, no matter how many different ways I look at him and try to be attracted to him, it was useless.

He was friend zoned.

"You're working harder than usual," he ignored everything that just happened as if he had short term memory loss.

"I'm headed out of town this weekend for a conference, I'm preparing for my presentation."

"Which conference?" He asked.

"Clinical and Medical Neurology Association's," I answered seriously because I knew he'd be familiar.

"And you're presenting your research there? Wow Swan, you've come a long way." He was impressed. "I can't wait to brag about you to my friends when we're married."

With that I shut my laptop, stood up from the table and began to pack my things.

"I have a meeting to go to, I'll be home late," I yelled out to Jasper.

"Come back alive," Jasper called back his own way of telling me to be safe.

I looked down at Edward. "Bye Masen."

He gave his signature smile that he swore made women literally swoon, which is plausible.

I rolled my eyes and tossed my book bag on my back and grabbed my tote bag that carried all of my papers and was out the door.

* * *

My research team consisted of Angela, the undergraduate who I chose for an internship for the professor I worked under. She was extraordinarily intelligent and was a source of great knowledge about the neurological field already. I thought I was a workaholic until I met this young woman.

And then there was Tyler, who just as clever as his counterpart, only two years ahead of her. He was graduating a year earlier than he was supposed to and had already been offered enrollment at UCLA and UC Berkeley. During his internship with me, according to my boss, it was my job to convince him to stay.

Both of them were already in my office when I arrived, I had stopped to grab us food and coffee.

"Thai! Bella you're the best, I don't think the other interns get treated so lavishly," Tyler flattered me.

"Rose bought her interns Thai too," I burst his bubble. "Food equals fully functioning interns. Fully functioning interns equals ground breaking work."

"You could've just taken the compliment," he grabbed the pad Thai and put some on his plate.

I laughed at his faux sullen attitude, handing him his iced americano; his favorite espresso beverage.

Angela also filled her plate with food, taking her matcha tea latte from me with similar gratitude.

I sat at the table with them, silence fell for a moment while we fed our starved stomachs. Each of us could go the entire day without remembering to eat, so I made it a point to not create bad habits while we worked together. Starvation for the sake of research was not acceptable.

My focus was on drug induced neurological disorders, working with patients that have abused recreational drugs and consequently are diagnosed with wide scopes of disorders that have left them completely debilitated or reduced to low functioning lifestyles.

While we ate, we discussed the conference and the presentation we had been working on for the past few months. Since my research was going to be published next month, I was invited to present my findings in front of at least a hundred people who were experts and specialists in the neurology field. It was an honor and humbling to have my work recognized in such a way, but I've had the same indigestion and constipation for the past month because my nerves and anxiety have been through the roof.

It wasn't the fear of embarrassing myself, I was well spoken and well versed in my research. It was more so inadequacies and feeling as if I wasn't up to par, I was one of the only people that was going to the conference that hadn't obtained a doctorate. So I was going to be presenting alongside people who have dedicated at least a decade of their efforts into research, while I had the audacity to speak to them about my measly six years. But there was a reason I was chosen, so I would make sure people knew why.

Angela, Tyler and I worked well into the night, but it was at midnight that I kicked them out. They had school in the morning and unlike me this research program wasn't their biggest priority.

When they left as if cued, Rose, another student pursuing her doctorate and my cherished friend since our Masters program at University of Chicago sauntered in. I loved her so much that I convinced her to move back to Los Angeles with me. Actually we worked under the same professor from Chicago who received a tenured position here at UCLA and she valued us so much she helped us get into the program here.

I was thankful at the time because I missed my friends and the three years I spent getting my masters in Chicago were hell in the winter. Never I had known the concept of wind chill and subzero temperatures until I foolishly chose the Windy City for my postgraduate. There were moments that I thought I'd die, but Rosalie was a native of the city so she helped me, tolerating my flair for the dramatics.

She was drop dead gorgeous, naturally blond tresses that waved effortlessly alongside a pair of blue eyes with flecks of violet hues. Her face heart shaped, with a button nose that she was accused along many other parts of her as being the result of plastic surgery. Her skin was always a golden hue, even in the frozen tundra of her hometown Chicago. She was forever picturesque, with very little effort, standing next to her made me feel like Fiona after sundown.

"Alice is doing better," she sat down across from me, pushing a cup of coffee towards me.

Gladly receiving the caffeinated drink, I slouched down in my chair.

"Good to hear, please keep watching after her."

Rosalie easily grafted into my friend group once she moved to L.A., despite the assumptions that she was vain and shallow because of her looks, those were adjectives I'd never use to describe her. She was typically the mediator of the group, choosing to always remain open minded and fair. That and she was so damn smart, graduating valedictorian out of high school and undergraduate. She prided herself in being more than her looks.

"I wouldn't have to if you and Jasper weren't fucking dickwads."

Brutally honest was another one of her characteristics, I was on the fence about that part of her. Most of the time it came as a benefit, in this moment, I'd rather her lie to me.

"What the fuck Bella," Rose was genuinely disappointed in me.

"I already feel like shit Rose."

"That's debatable, you let Jasper move in with you. Did you think of how Alice would feel about that?"

"Even if it were another woman I would've let him move in, we've known each other for too long for me to just abandon him."

"But this wasn't another woman, this was Alice."

"Jasper is still my best friend," I mumbled, lip quivering.

Rose stopped her verbal assault when she noticed my eyes began to water.

I bit down on my lip. Shit, I hated crying.

I swiped quickly at the fallen tears.

"The shittiest part of this is that I have no idea why this even happened. I have no valid reason to tell Alice why I did this to her. Not that there could be one, but it's not like I actually love Jasper in that way."

My throat burned from the battle of resisting the urge to breakdown. At least I didn't think so.

"It's just Jasper…for some moronic reason, I lose all mental capabilities the moment he touches me."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"For what? I can't be in a relationship with him," that would just be saying 'Fuck you Alice, we actually hated you and kept you around to screw with your emotions'.

"But still having sex with him is acceptable," she countered.

My head lowered in further shame.

"Fix this shit Bella, I really don't like being in the middle of this."

My head nodded in agreement.

* * *

It was four in the morning when I made it home and Jasper was still awake watching tv. I skipped speaking to him and hid in the bathtub, using aromatherapy and scalding hot water to clear my head.

My knees pressed into my chest, my head resting on them, I watched as Jasper entered, sitting on the floor in front of the tub.

"Avoidance is never the solution," he said.

"It worked when we were little," I replied.

"No it didn't, you covering your ears and yelling isn't a successful attempt of avoidance."

My eyes traveled to his face, he was already watching me.

"Why'd you do it?" This was the first time I asked him this question. Truthfully I had been so afraid of his answer that I never dared to ask.

"I felt something and I went for it, at first I thought it was just sexual. So I attempted to get it out the way, I knew it wouldn't ruin us, we've gone through too much for that to be the case."

"But you did again," I persisted.

"After the first time, it only got worse, I thought that if I was with Alice it would go away. It wasn't as if Alice was a filler, but rather she was someone I truly liked, so if I was with her, then I'd forget what I felt towards you. When you went away, I guess not having you in my presence made me believe that it really was just physical. But when you came back it occurred to me that it was more to it than that."

"You stayed with Alice after that, Why?"

"At that point I was just being selfish, I loved Alice and I didn't want to lose her. But I would rather not lose you either, so I spent the next few years ignoring what I felt towards you. You've been there for me through many points of my life Bella, you were there when my grandmother passed, when my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, you even went with her to chemo and drove her home when my dad was too busy and I was just being a dumbass and avoided her."

He reached to tuck my wet hair behind my ear.

"You held my hand when I told my parents I was dropping out of law school and defended me when I had no words to even defend myself. I didn't even protect you when they attacked you, even after all you had done for them. For me."

I closed my eyes, tears past the point of threatening to fall, but had already fallen. My heart was thumping inside of my chest. This was much more than I anticipated.

"I love you Bella, but it was the day Alice found out about us that I accepted that we could never be more than friends. I wasn't even going to do anything, but you're a weakness of mine and it didn't pair well with alcohol."

His hand moved from massaging my shoulder to graze his thumb over my lips. My response to him was automatic, it was scary how much control he had over me. He told his reasons, but what were my own?

Not wanting to overwhelm myself, I did what he told me not to do, avoid it.

I kissed his thumb, and then his palm, and then his wrist. It was all it took for him to stand and remove me from the tub. Dripping wet, he carried me to my bedroom where stripped off the little amount of clothing he had and we distracted ourselves for the moment.

* * *

Wednesday came and I was packing to be in San Francisco for the next four days. My plane was leaving early tomorrow morning and because I was firm believer in procrastination, I was just now packing my things.

After Monday morning happened, Jasper and I hadn't spoken of what was said. In part due to my intentional avoiding, but also credited to the fact that during the week we worked on opposite schedules. While I was at school he was home and when I came home, he left for work. It gave me time to think, but every time I brought myself to ponder on him, panic arose in me and I distracted myself with work.

While I packed, I forced myself to figure it out.

"What is Jasper Whitlock to Isabella Swan?" I said aloud.

"He is the kid who saved me from the monster under my bed. He's the guy who beat up my prom date when he tried to take advantage of me in a limo and was arrested for assault, thankfully the charges were dropped." I paused when memories of our past surfaced. "Jasper was by my side when my parents divorced, he held me for a literal hour while I cried."

He was a tried and true friend, but he was also one of the best men I knew. So it made sense that I found myself feeling this way about him without even realizing it.

"I thought I told you that talking to yourself wasn't normal," I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear Jasper come home.

How much had he heard?

"All of it," It was as if he could read my mind.

He sat down on the bed. "Remember that time, we stole your mom's car and drove to Sacramento to find your Dad. We got all the way there and you saw that he was living with another woman."

"I hit her," I recalled the memory easily. We were seniors in high school, I wanted to invite my dad to my graduation, but my mom refused. I thought she was just being a bitch. But she was protecting me.

I didn't know my Dad had left her for another woman, that he moved to another city to provide for a different woman and be a father to someone else.

When a girl that was close to my age opened the door to the address I found, I thought I was mistaken. Why would my Dad be living with her? But his voice rang from out of the house, asking who had interrupted their family dinner. I couldn't even think of the last time we ate together as a family.

I brushed past the girl, disbelief the influence of walking into the house without welcome. I followed his voice to find him standing from a table that sat two other kids and his new wife.

Once he saw me, he obviously had no words for me. He didn't have the guts to look me in the eyes.

She knew who I was and ordered me to leave her home, their home. I didn't do anything to deserve her cruelty, all I ever did was be a daughter to a shitty human being.

I crumbled the invitation and threw it at him, Jasper right behind me. He whispered that we should leave and I would have left peacefully. If that bitch hadn't of spoken my mom's name.

I didn't hear what she said, it didn't matter. The next thing I knew, my fist was balled and I swung, hitting her directly in the face. Before I landed another blow, Jasper was carrying me out kicking and screaming. Tears leaked from my eyes while he shoved me into the car and drove away.

"Out of all people you think I'd be the one who'd choose not to be the other woman."

"Don't compare yourself to your father, it's completely different." Jasper knew my train of thought.

My back was facing him, I didn't look back at him.

"I hurt someone I care for, I don't see the difference."

"Alice and I aren't married, I'm not abandoning my child, I feel as if I shouldn't have to say this. You know better." He was angry. "You're not your Dad and you never will be."

When I didn't say anything, he stood and whirled me around to look at him.

"I said you're not your Dad so don't waste your time making yourself feel like shit. I'm the one who did wrong, let me deal with the consequences. I used you and I hurt Alice."

He made me cry, he groaned and put my head to his chest while I wept.

"Jeez, you're such a wimp."

"I can't help it," I wailed, the words muffled by his shirt.

"I'm sorry this happened before your conference," he said understanding what this weekend meant to me.

He looked down at me, wiping my face. "I know you'll do great, just forget about this mess and we'll deal with it when you return. I won't even call you."

"That'll make it worse, you have to call me." Jasper was a big part of my support system, regardless of current events, I needed him.

"Ok, Call me when you need to talk."

I nodded.

"Finish packing and let's eat."

He released me from his arms and left me alone.

We both knew that we had to deal with the fact that we could never be more than friends, but the emotions we grew towards each other that we were unaware were going to make it extremely difficult.


	3. Chapter 3

I arrived in San Francisco a day ahead of the conference, early Thursday morning so that I would get the chance to get a day to myself. Ever since Jasper moved in, the word 'privacy' has been something like a foreign term. I mean did I enjoy him finding me at all times of the day and creating toe curling orgasms…it's an obvious yes. But I cherished my alone time; between being in final year of my Ph.D program, teaching three different classes, conducting a research program and completing my dissertation to publish, I truly valued the moments where I was left to my own thoughts. It's why I bought my own condo and why I refused to date, I made the excuse of not having time, but it was really I didn't want to give the little time I had for myself to one more person.

Jasper was an exception though, because we were long time friends and for a time the sex didn't affect our relationship. But after he shared what he really felt, it became apparent that we needed to figure this crap out now or regret it deeply later. It would kill me if I lost him as a friend, so the trip to San Francisco was a perfect getaway. While on this trip I wouldn't think of him and what was waiting for me back home.

After unpacking in my hotel, I switched out of my clothes and into shorts and a tank top, slipped into my running shoes and was out the door for a run. Jasper was trying to turn me back into my eighth grade pudgy form and I wasn't going to have it. He fed me nearly every day my favorite carbs and high sugar desserts and when I saw the number on the scale shift upwards by three digits, it was time to put down the cupcakes.

But dying in San Francisco from heat exhaustion and lack of oxygen was also not apart of the plan. Not taking into account that the roads were made up of hills, a simple three mile run had me nearly gasping for air as I made my way back to the hotel.

Drenched in sweat, wisps of hair stuck to my face, I walked through the hotel lobby. In front of me was a gentleman who had the same idea I had, his tank was stuck to his back, as if doused with water.

His calves were magnificent, and so were his thighs and as my eyes traveled further it was concluded that his butt was just as satisfying. I was a woman that would never let a moment pass to enjoy the beauty of a man's legs. Especially if they're wonderfully sculpted like the man I currently ogled. We walked onto the same elevator and before I could press the button for my floor, he had already pressed it.

He looked at the other person who was in the elevator with him, giving me a small smirk. He was an older man, his features aged, but like time does with wine. His eyes were a bright piercing blue, with short blond hair with sprinkles of white hair that was dripping with sweat. He had a five o clock shadow that was a bit darker than the blond on his head; with a straight nose and nice full lips, his back side paled in comparison to the glory of the front of him.

Shit this was fine ass older man. His smirk upgraded to a full grin that introduced me to a set of teeth that were white and straightened.

"I see I wasn't the only one defeated by the hills out here," he offered conversation.

"I nearly crawled on the way back," I said half serious. "I used muscles I've never knew I even had."

He gave a chuckle that went from my ears all the way to my special lady place.

I gulped.

"I'm Carlisle, Carlisle Cullen." He held out his hand and I shook it.

His name had a familiar ring to it, but there was no way in hell I'd forget meeting this slab of beefy sex.

"Isabella Swan, my friends call me Bella." Our hands stayed connected.

"I would love to be your friend and call you Bella," he still hadn't let my hand go.

I was definitely picking up what he was putting down, this wasn't a drill.

"You can absolutely call me Bella," I smiled in return, the elevator doors finally opening.

At this point we had no choice but to return each other's hands and walk out of the elevator.

"We're on the same floor, I think our friendship is off to a good start." Carlisle continued to walk with me down the hall. "Do you have any plans this evening?"

"Coincidentally, I don't."

His smile returned, the crow's feet by his eyes becoming visible at his close proximity.

Holy Haberdashery Batman, this man was a new specimen. I had never thought I would be so attracted to a man his age. How old was he even?

It didn't matter, he was well passed ten years older than me. But he didn't seem to care, I had his attention and he had mine, this was simply an exchange male and female. Nothing else mattered.

"Want to join me for dinner and drinks?" He asked, but there was something in his tone that made it more of a statement.

"I would like that, I would enjoy getting to know my new friend."

"Let's meet downstairs, 7?"

"See you at 7, Carlisle." I went into my room, finally free to do a dance of glee and anticipation.

San Francisco, you are turning out to be an interesting time already. We were both travelers, which meant that whatever became of this night wasn't going to involve commitment or emotional attachment. If it went my way, I'd have a good looking older gentleman to call mine for the night. No strings attached.

* * *

It was only 11 and I did not pack for a night out, so after cleaning off my morning run, I was back out the hotel room to go shop for a dress. Retracing my steps from earlier, I visited a couple of boutiques before I found a indigo silk dress that was small and risqué. With a quick adjustment to the spaghetti straps, so that only a portion of cleavage was permitted. It was flimsy enough to move yet and still my curves were accentuated with great pride. In the mirror, I checked myself out, turning to see the results of many squats and lunges; in an unbiased perspective I was highly impressed. The material stopped midway past my thigh, the sun kissed flesh of my legs paired well with the deep shade of blue and the mahogany hue of my curls were accentuated as well.

Refusing to let this dress get away from me, I purchased it for the night along with a pair of red stilettos. It was also not lost to me that I didn't pack sexy time underwear. They weren't granny bloomers, but my boy shorts weren't gonna cut it. For Carlisle, the big guns had to be pulled out. It was a one night thing, but he had experience or at least I'm assuming. I won't be something to be forgotten, I want to bury myself so deep in his memories every time he steps onto an elevator I'm right there with him.

I practically giggled with anticipation while skipping down the street with my new lingerie and clothes. I was on my way to give a man a heart attack. Was that an appropriate saying for someone his age?

I sighed, I needed to find out how old this man was.

I wanted to get some work done before my date with Carlisle. Angela and Tyler wouldn't arrive until tomorrow morning, but I was the presenter and it was six years of my blood, sweat and tears. My research was being presented in front of specialists from the medicine and clinical psychology field. It was an honor, but saying that I was scared as shit was an understatement.

So I spent the next couple of hours going over my work, making notes for discussion when the other two arrive. There could never truly be an end to me working, so I forced myself to stop to get ready for my date.

The Weeknd's music came through my speakers, putting me in a confident mental state; his lyrics and vulnerable yet assertive vocals spoke to every nerve ending in my body, creating a spark of life that made them hum in delight.

It was The Weeknd's fault for my low resolve the first night Jasper and I slept together while he was in a relationship with Alice and even now he was responsible for the decision to opt out of any underwear tonight.

So that Carlisle could get the full effect of the dress, the hair choice was a straightened, low ponytail situated at the base of my neck. The makeup was smoky, lips just as red as the shoes and the perfume said 'If you're this close and you smell me, you're getting fucked tonight.'

If Alice were here, she'd be one proud friend. Her tiny stature wouldn't be able to contain the amount of exhilaration she'd display. She was the final piece of the puzzle that would sent me out the door feeling unstoppable.

But she wasn't here and most likely never would be, so I gave my tits one last adjustment, gave my reflection a quick wink.

"Let's go get him," I said before sauntering off.

Tossing my items for the night into my clutch, I was out the door to meet Carlisle. With my back facing towards the hallway, I could hear someone exiting from their hotel room.

"I can see the effects of the these San Francisco hills already," the husky tone that I spoke to in the elevator earlier rang in my ears, the tingle in my hoohah returned.

Carlisle's eyes were traveling up my body when I turned to see him.

Sweaty Carlisle was hot, Suit Carlisle was smoldering and a wet dream. With a fitted navy suit, white shirt that gave a teasing view of his toned torso and an unbuttoned top, choosing to go tieless, it was was made clear in this moment that it was going to a long night. The only thing I'll be able to think about is which room are we tearing apart.

"We're neighbors I see," he came from the door directly across from mine, a detail I missed earlier.

"Yes, I will admit that although I was intrigued by our blooming friendship, I was also headed for my own room." He stated.

Giving him a provoking smile, I replied back. "We should get going, I'm dying to get to know my new friend."

Like a gentleman, he held his arm out, gesturing for me to go first. He used the same outstretched hand and placed it on my lower back so that we walked side by side.

Even the small, partially innocent touch shot a quick electric like wave through me, garnering more anticipation for tonight.

"I've been searching for words to say how…gloriously marvelous you look this evening. But I seem to keep coming up short."

He said pressing the elevator button for us. He was taller than me by a few inches, but with my heels I was just short of eye level.

We met gazes and with silent communication it was confirmed that we were on the same page. It was going down. Tonight.

"That was more than sufficient, I'll return the compliment. I think I'm going to make a few ladies envious tonight."

"I can say the same." He gave me a very gentle, encouraging push to enter into the elevator first when the doors opened.

We weren't alone this time, an elderly couple rode down with us. Carlisle's hand remained on the curve of my lower back and his thumb began an up and down motion. I wasn't clear of its purpose, but it was chipping further away at my waning patience to make it through the evening.

"I made reservations for a place I go to every time I come to visit San Francisco."

"Does that mean you travel often?"

"More for business than pleasure, I often find myself visiting cities that I would love to explore, but I'm only there for a few days."

"Was is it that you do that has you traveling so frequently?" We were walking through the lobby and out the front doors.

"I'm in the medical field," he gave me a shorter answer in order to speak with a man who seemed to be valet.

After a few quick words, he was handed a set of keys and we were reunited, Carlisle further guiding me to the shiny black car in front of us. I could tell from the logo that it was a Bentley, but that's as far as I could go. It looked very expensive and very new, I assumed it was a rental.

He opened the passenger door for me and with as much class as this dress allowed, I entered, succeeding in not showing the world my treasure box.

Once he closed my door, he walked across the car and entered on the driver's side.

The smell of new car and leather permeated the air, the wood paneling just as shiny as the exterior. With the push of a button the car purred to life, he shifted the car into gear and smoothly pulled away from the curb.

"What brings you to San Francisco? Is this your first time?" He asked me.

"I've visited a few times, some times for business, others for personal. I'm here now for a conference that will be held in the hotel for the next few days."

"Conference? Concerning what?"

"Neuroscience, I'm studying at UCLA."

"You're a student," he stated and for the first time he seemed weary; cautious.

"I am," I smiled, humored about the fact that he was now trying to figure out how old the woman in his car actually was.

I didn't want to make this easy on him, teasing him seemed like a much better option than just letting him know I was three short years from 30.

"Bella, I think this is the first time I've been nervous to ask you a question, since we've met."

"Why? Are you beginning to wonder just how young I am?" I had the pleasure of watching his facial expression, he gave me a quick glance.

"Are you going to put me out of my misery?"

I laughed. "I'm actually enjoying this."

More concern registered on his face and I bit my lip to stifle a laugh.

"You're at least over 29, right?" He hit over my age.

"29? Ouch Carlisle, I'm hurt." The exaggerated expression further put Carlisle in an awkward situation, the sadist in me appreciated the discomfort I put him in.

We came to a stop at a light and he took the opportunity to look over at me.

"You're younger?" He ran his hand through his hair. From what I'm seeing, this was not something he was accustomed to.

"Do you find yourself dating younger women often?"

"Would you believe me if I said no?" The light turned green and we were moving once more. "You're really going to make me suffer aren't you?"

He gave a nervous chuckle.

"Absolutely, I have a very confident and sure man sweating. I'm going to make you work for this one." I laughed. "So what's the youngest you've ever dated?"

It was definitely a question I wouldn't ask on a normal first date, but this wasn't normal and this was going to be the only time we spent together.

He paused, giving it some thought.

"Let's not make it complicated," I said helping him out. "Doesn't matter if it was serious or not, just simply the youngest you've ever been with."

"Late 30s" He said quicker this time.

My grinned widened, he was in for a surprise.

"So when you said 29 earlier…" I trailed off, highly entertained.

"I was throwing a very wide net. Please Bella, I thought we were friends."

"Precisely, what type of friend would I be if I didn't tease you mercilessly? But since this is a newly blossoming friendship I'll show some pity. But not before asking how old you are."

"What number would be a turn off for you?" He said, probably a bit insecure about our potentially wide age gap now.

I shrugged. "I've learned that attraction isn't limited to an age, so I can't say there is one."

"Is that from an experience of dating older men?"

I shook my head. "I discovered that on an elevator."

My words caused him to smile wider. "So you've never dated a man out of your own age range."

"Only due to lack of opportunity," I spoke to assure him further that his age wasn't a concern.

There was a pregnant pause, Carlisle pulled up to a curb in front of a restaurant and put the car in park.

"As of today, I am 46." He confessed right as valet opened our doors.

We were sitting on a nineteen year time gap.

Giving valet the car and entering into the restaurant allowed us time to chew on the new endeavor we were embarking on. Although he wasn't aware of the exact difference in age, Carlisle knew that it was well out of his typical comfort zone.

Carlisle chose Mediterranean cuisine, the place was upscale, no doubt Michelin rated and from scanning the room, the reservations highly coveted.

"You must know a guy," I quipped while being guided to our table.

Rewarded with another chuckle, Carlisle responded. "I do enjoy treating myself to nicer things every once in a while. And yes, I may be acquainted with someone high up enough to help with a last minute reservation change."

The hostess gave us a table on a private balcony located on the second floor, we were given a nice view of the setting sun across the Pacific.

This was truly a treat.

"I suppose I'm one of those few and far between delicacies then?"

Carlisle was about to speak to the hostess before my cheeky comment, he gave me a look that told me to behave and with a smile, I obliged.

He ordered a bottle of wine after asking if I had a preference; I had none. Once the hostess left us to our own privacy, Carlisle gave a sigh.

"When I met you, I knew from that mischievous gleam in your eye that you'd be trouble, but that was an understatement."

I laughed. "I will admit, I'm not usually this brazen with people I've just met, but for some reason I enjoy watching you squirm."

"Well I'm glad I'm keeping you entertained."

"Tonight is not about me though, we are going to make sure you enjoy your special night. Happy Birthday by the way."

"Thank you, but one way to make my night a bit more relaxed is to please tell me the damage of our age difference."

I had honestly forgotten for a moment that I didn't tell him.

"I'll give you a hint, I'm in my Ph.D program, third year."

"That's not helpful at all, Bella."

"But I'm at least 25, so that should give some relief."

His expression said otherwise.

"Tell me, what would be so wrong with me being under 30? We are two consenting adults, from what you've told me so far and what I've seen, you're a highly accomplished man. Although to the naked eye I might seem like I'm after your money, but that's too boring for me and I'm pretty established myself and I have every intention of furthering in my career field." He took in my words. "And if I'm going to continue my candor, this is only for tonight."

He remained silent, still absorbing my words, but right alongside it was still the increased curiosity of my age. He was barely listening.

I sighed. "I'll be 27 in September."

As if comically timed, the waiter entered alongside a man Carlisle recognized. He stood and they exchanged greetings with a handshake and hug. Standing out of courtesy and not wanting to be the only one sitting, I waited while they enjoyed their reunion; deducing from his attire, he was a chef.

They stood at similar height and looked to weigh the same, the Chef a bit slimmer and taller. His dark brown hair was buzzed, but his eyebrows thick and bushy and somehow simultaneously trimmed neatly. 'Chiseled' perfectly defined his jawline, with a dimpled chin and his nose was just as straight and blocky.

His eyes finally found me, his brain ticking for a few moments before he looked back at Carlisle. His thin lips morphed into a coy smile and his eyes alight with knowing.

"Carlisle, please introduce me to the woman who will have the great pleasure of feasting on my creation tonight."

"I'm Bella Swan," I stretched my hand out for him to shake it.

He took it, but not to shake; he raised my hand to his lips and planted a kiss not on the back of my hand, but my wrist.

"Aro." Strange name. Strange person.

"It's nice to meet you."

"How did you meet this exquisite beauty Carlisle?"

"Just this morning, she agreed to accompany me for dinner."

"So I take it you're having a thrilling birthday so far."

"Bella has certainly made it an unforgettable night already."

"I'm quite sure," Aro gave me one last lingering look. "As much as I would love to get to know you more, I won't be selfish and inconsiderate this one time and allow Carlisle to have you all to himself."

He looked back at his friend. "But I can't make any promises for the future."

"Thank you, Aro. Always the altruistic man."

"I'll have your art displayed before you at my earliest convenience, so please sit, appreciate the view." Aro's darted up and down my form once more. "The sunset of course, it's quite captivating. I expect to hear from you very soon Carlisle."

And he was gone.

"Sorry, Aro is…"

"A character," I completed his sentence. "No need to apologize."

We sat back down, tasting the Merlot that was selected. Honestly I wasn't a wine woman, tequila and rum were my style. But I liked the taste of Carlisle's choice, albeit quite dry.

"26." Carlisle took the bookmark out from where we left our conversation.

He leaned back in his chair, I leaned back as well; crossing my legs.

"I was expecting 28 as the worst possible answer."

I nearly choked on my wine, but I suppressed the laughter and managed to save face.

"Worst possible? So my answer must be Chernobyl."

He gave a hearty laugh. "If my friends knew I was out with someone a few years older than their own children." He didn't even finish his sentence, he simply dropped his head and chuckled.

He took another sip of his wine. "I'm definitely going to need something stronger."

I leaned in. "Carlisle, You seem like a really nice guy." He was turning out to be a little different than expected.

Once he looked back at me. "I know we just met, but excuse my language for a moment."

He cocked up an eyebrow and I leaned further in.

"We are attracted to each other, we want to fuck each other and I have every intention of getting fucked blind by a very handsome man on his birthday. For once, forget about the norms and taboos and just live." He gulped. "Don't think, don't consider, just spend the night with me and when you wake up the next day, it'll be just like a dream. You can tell your friends about the crass young woman that let you screw her brains out or you can keep it our little secret."

Leaning back, chugging the rest of my wine, I gave Carlisle a moment to process my words. It suddenly occurred to me that there was something I wanted to confirm.

"You're not married are you?" The question was sudden, but I was already a dirty cheatin' whore, I didn't want to make that a trend in my life.

"I've been faithfully married to my work for many years now and she's quite the jealous bitch."

It wasn't as if I could figure out if he was lying, unless his wife caught us red handed, so trusting him was the only option.

"I can definitely attest to that, it's hard finding someone who understands the time that goes into my work. So I don't even bother."

"Let's not talk about our work, we deal with that everyday. Tell what you like to do for fun."

"I have a dog that's the size of a miniature horse, we go for runs when I'm not working. If I'm not with him…I'm working."

"I feared as much, minus the very terrifying sounding canine, I have the same problem."

"If you didn't work all the time what would you do?" I offered. "What have you been dying to do that you can't."

"Date a beautiful young woman and get to know her massive pet at a distance."

I laughed out loud. "Very smooth answer."

"It's the truth, without reminding you of how old I am, I've realized I've sacrificed a lot for what I have now. And now that I have it, all I want is what I could've easily had before."

"What makes it difficult now?"

"Motives. Intentions. Chemistry. And much more, but mostly I find women seek after stability and security over companionship and love."

"Wow, you must be around a lot of stupid ass women."

This time it was him that choked on his wine, coughing up the liquid while laughing with me.

We chatted a bit more before the food arrived, Aro personally delivered the food, explaining the cuisine he created. My palate wasn't refined at all so I didn't understand anything he said, but to avoid offense, I ate what was set in front of me.

Each entrée that came out was more adventurous than the prior, ranging from savory to sweet. And the portions were so small that after three or four bites I was done.

"Is this how you usually eat?" My plate was removed from in front of me.

"Absolutely not, I'm definitely a burger and fries type of guy. But I do enjoy Aro's experimental dishes so I deal with the fancy atmosphere."

"Good, I don't think I'd trust anyone who pays to consistently eat snack sized meals."

My stomach was content even though I could have easily eaten more, but to avoid looking like the pig I truly was, I refrained from further mentioning food.

"Do you like to dance Carlisle?" An idea came to me. "Actually you don't get to answer that, you don't have a choice."

* * *

There was a place I had discovered the last time I came to San Francisco; it was definitely a complete shift in gears in atmosphere. The place was located right next to the coast, the smell of salt in the air when we arrived. The building was decorated with colorful stringed lights, live instruments performed on the inside, with speakers pumping the sound outside for the patrons that enjoyed the night air. We entered, Carlisle's hand in mine as I lead him through the wooden doors and then through a curtain of multicolored beads.

Jasper, Edward, Alice and I spent the whole night here the last time we took a trip out to San Francisco, we each shared a love for dancing and salsa was another commonality. We danced well into the early morning, until the owners closed the doors on us and the band went home.

The set up was simple, the bar was in the corner and there were no chairs to discourage idleness. The entire floor was for dancing, if you didn't dance, you stood and looked like a fool. The band performed on a makeshift stage raised a few feet off the floor, fans surrounding them to keep them cool. The lighting was dim, the same stringed lights used for the exterior.

I looked to see Carlisle's reaction, he was still scanning the room, it clearly had been some sort of warehouse before it was turned into this, it wasn't the cleanest, but what it did offer was a good time and great drinks.

"Truthfully, I've never been to a place like this," Carlisle said in my ear, the music was too loud to hear him from any farther. His proximity sent a tingle down my spine, but I held it together.

"Let's get some real alcohol in our system to knock the edge off."

I was comfortable and completely able to enjoy my evening without inebriation, but for Carlisle's sake he needed liquid courage. Ordering a bottle of tequila, the bartender gave us my choice of poison alongside a small bowl of sliced limes and a salt shaker, with two shot glasses.

"This already doesn't look good," Carlisle watched as I poured our shots. "Last time I had tequila…I don't even remember what happened the last time I had tequila."

"Trust me, I'm going to make sure this is a birthday you'll never forget." Once I had our shots ready I looked up at him. "Take off your jacket and give it to the bartender."

He hesitated for a moment but did as I asked, the bartender locked his jacket away for safe keeping. I took the sleeve of each arm and neatly rolled it up to the top of his forearm. He smelled so damn good, further chipping away at my self control.

I glanced up at him to see him focused on me, his eyes curious, with the same desire I was fighting against.

In due time, but for now, we were here.

"Lick the back of your hand," I licked my own and dumped salt onto it. Once he did his own hand, I gave him his own salt and handed him a lime and shot glass.

"To a Happy Birthday and good sex," I touched glasses and without waiting licked my hand, took the shot and bit down on the lime.

It burned so good. When Carlisle took his shot, his face scrunched up from the feeling of the burn down his throat, but he had the lime between his teeth right after.

I gave us two more shots before we were on the floor, my hips immediately synchronizing to the sultry music. Carlisle didn't need to know how to dance, all he had to do was have me as his partner. But shock and surprise registered across my face, when he grabbed my hand spun me twice around and brought me into his arms. He smiled playfully at me.

"Did I forget to mention I love to salsa?" I laughed, he was cheekier than what he lead on.

Without another word, we began our night of dance. Twisting and twirling across the floor with the other dance partners. He was an amazing dancer, keeping up with the temp of each song, never missing a beat, his feet moving effortlessly. The tall heels made it a bit difficult, but I managed to keep up, refusing to let a pair of shoes ruin my night. But eventually I did take them off, more for the desire to keep dancing and be able to walk tomorrow.

The tequila, the music and Carlisle together created a high that I hadn't felt in a long time. Where everything else was gone and only this moment existed, school, stress and worries were washed away by the shore.

The band slowed the music down to allow us a break, Carlisle brought me into his arms, pressing my back into him and wrapping his arms around my waist. With this we swayed slowly, his head bent down to rest right next to mine. A thin layer of sweat clung to us.

"You're right, this is a night I will never forget. I can't remember the last time I've danced like this."

"It's nice isn't it?" I was more speaking of having him pressed against me.

"Can I see something?" He asked, his voice lower. Huskier.

"By all means," he could've meant bending me over and taking me right here and I would've been for it at this point.

But instead, I felt his hand touch the base of my ponytail and very gently pull the hair tie down my hair until my tresses were free, falling onto my shoulders.

He turned me, but still kept me pressed into him. Our eyes locked, his hand traveled up my arm ever so slightly caressing my skin. With his fingers he combed them in my hair and tugged. My head obediently leaned backwards, exposing my neck. Carlisle lowered his head and buried it into the space between my jaw and shoulder, his mouth kissing the sensitive flesh.

My eyes closed, delighted at his foreplay. Using the other hand, he found my backside, traveling downward to my thigh. Lifting my leg to wrap it around his waist and bring us closer. His warmth, his smell, his touch became a cloud that made everything disappear. As his lips traced kisses upon my shoulder, traveling up my neck where his teeth grazed the flesh there. I began to hum in approval, gripping his arm because I no longer trusted my control over my balance.

Carlisle's lips reached my ear. "Typically, I'm a man of great patience. But it's taken every bit of me to stop myself from dragging you off and finding a place to bury myself deep in you."

I involuntarily moaned, his hand slipped under my dress, squeezing my cheek.

"You don't have anything on underneath this dress," he stated.

That seemed to be the thing that broke him, because without warning, he was rushing towards the bar. The bartender wasn't quick enough returning his jacket, Carlisle practically running off as soon as the man was handing it to him.

My heart was racing in heavy anticipation, this was it, the moment I've been dying for since this morning in the elevator.

Arriving at the car, Carlisle pushed me up against the car and captured my lips with his own. He tasted of citrus and tequila, his tongue fervent and needy.

We weren't going to make it to the hotel. I reached behind me to grab the door handle of the car, opening the back door.

"Get in," I order pushing him away.

He quickly obeyed, taking me with him. He shut the door behind us, as I quickly climbed on top of him and began to swiftly undo his belt. His hands found my neck crashing our lips together again while I worked on his pants.

My reward for my work was his hard dick waiting for me, he groaned against my lips as I wrapped my hand around him.

"Condom?" My voice breathy.

He paused for a moment. "At the hotel."

How foolish of us to think we had any chance of making it back. I had a very very weak resolve when it came to my vagina, there was no telling me no when I was horny. Lack of self control and liquor decided my next choice.

"I'm clean and I'm on birth control."

"Same…minus the birth control."

"Good enough for me," my hips raised and positioned myself at his tip.

This wasn't the time for slow and steady, but his wide girth made me think twice about using any quick movements. He gripped my hips and helped me, guiding me down his length. My mouth fell open as I took him in, no sound able to comprehend what was happening in this moment.

"Shit," Carlisle elongated the curse word.

Once he was in, I gave myself a moment to adjust, feeling discomfort from the stretch needed to receive him. My hips raised when I decided the moment was over, moaning in pure pleasure of finally having what I've been craving all day.

Carlisle's hips bucked beneath me, just as impatient. This was quick and dirty, nothing caring or sensual about.

His mouth latched onto my neck and he sucked, I could feel the vibrations of his grunts and groans. My arms wrapped around his neck, crying out and begging for all of him. Without missing a beat, he tossed me underneath him, pressing me into the seat. His stroke quickened, bringing me to a climax that hit so hard I released a guttural noise that I wasn't even aware I was able to make.

My release caused me to tighten around Carlisle and he stiffened and released inside of me, groaning just as animalistic as I had.

Holy Shit Batman, what the fuck was that.


	4. Chapter 4

Even after the quickie in the rental, we couldn't get to the hotel fast enough. We giggled like school kids speed walking through the lobby, trying to be inconspicuous. The fact that I didn't have shoes on and we weren't actually as quiet as we thought didn't help our cause.

Reaching the elevator we impatiently waited for its arrival. Our fingers intertwined, we looked at each other, both of us looked disheveled. We cracked up at our appearance, probably drawing more attention. As the elevator doors opened Carlisle pulled me inside, not even waiting for the doors to close fully before he had my face in his hands and taking my lips to his once more. As we rode up the elevator, I was already unbuttoning his shirt, to save us time later.

Out of the elevator and racing down the hall, Carlisle went straight to his room, opening the door and pulling me inside. At the click of the door being shut, he stripped out of his clothes.

His body was defined and muscular, nothing on him telling of his age.

I pulled my dress up and over my head so that I could join him in his nudity. After that no more time was wasted, we didn't even make it to the bed. Carlisle swept me up into his arms and drove into me while pressing me against the wall. My legs locked around his waist, arms clasped around his neck, hoping that the rooms were sound proof.

Each thrust was like a hammer to a nail, driving me closer and closer until my back arched, my head fell back hitting the wall hard, but the pain was overshadowed by the intense pleasure that surged through me.

Once Carlisle did move us to the bed, my ass was in the air and Carlisle positioned behind me. He gripped onto my waist and guided himself back into me, hissing at the sensation. This time he moved quick, my face buried in the pillow as to drown the screams and pleading.

I came and then I came again, each one taking a part of me with it. I waited for him to slow, to waver, but his tempo didn't falter.

"I want to see your face as I make you cum," he flipped me and was back inside of me before I could even miss him.

He slowed his pace again, but each type he lifted his hips, he quickly shoved back into me. There was another orgasm on the horizon, my body beginning to reach its limit.

"Carlisle!" I called out his name, my legs started to convulse and my fingers dug deep into the sheets and with the next thrust I was thrown off the edge of an orgasm.

Even with tightening around him, Carlisle carried on, groaning just as loud as I.

"I want you to cum with me Bella," he kissed me, silencing us for a moment. Our bodies slick with sweat rubbed against one another.

His hand reached in between us and found my own personal self destruction nub, rubbing the sensitive cluster of nerve endings.

"Cum for me one last time Bella," it wasn't a hard task, but the way he begged, I quickly obliged.

In unison we sent our bodies into overdrive, both of us stilling while each and every nerve in our body seemed to be activated and pulsating.

Out of breath as if we just ran a marathon, Carlisle used the last of his energy to turn us over so I rested on him. I could hear his heart racing, his chest rise and falling swiftly. My own body was just as spent, before I could tell myself to get up and leave, Carlisle had us underneath the sheets and me in wrapped in his arms.

* * *

The brightness of the room was the culprit for waking me up, my head lifted from Carlisle's chest who for a split second I had forgotten I fell asleep with. He was still sound asleep, the well kept hair from last night now completely a mess. He was still extremely fuckable.

What time was it?! Not wanting to wake Carlisle, I slid from the bed and grabbed ahold of my clutch to pull out my phone. It was half past 7, I was supposed to meet Angela and Tyler in 15 minutes downstairs.

My dress was back over my head and I was sneaking out the room in under a minute. I ran to my own room and once again tossed off the flimsy dress to find underwear and a bra.

I was going to have to go the conference smelling like a night of sex, tequila and ocean.

This was not a good start.

But thankfully my own presentation wasn't until tonight, so during the intermission I would run back up and bathe.

I brushed my hair and teeth, washed my face, slapping on the bare minimum of makeup and was out the door right as Angela was calling me, even though it was only five minutes, it wasn't like me to be late.

"I'm on my way down," I said hailing the elevator.

My legs rubbed together, remembering the feel of Carlisle deep inside of me. Never had I had sex without a condom, except for Jasper. It was a foolish move, but damn it did it feel splendiferous.

One night stands weren't my thing either, but I had to admit that Carlisle was the perfect exception.

A part of me wished I was able to say goodbye, but then that was too sentimental for something that was meant to be one and done.

But man last night was truly unforgettable. I didn't even realize I was smiling until I approached Angela and Tyler, both of them giving me a questioning look.

"What's with the stupid smile?" Angela asked.

"What smile?" I asked straightening my face.

"That smile you just erased, you can't be that happy to see us." Tyler said suspiciously.

"I am actually! You guys this is it!" I switched my excitement to the conference to play off the fact that I was reminiscing about Carlisle deep in my guts.

If they had only fell for it, but thankfully they loved me enough to not press any further.

Since none of us had eaten, we ordered breakfast and set up shop in a small meeting room the hotel allowed us to work in.

The conference began in the afternoon, so we used the time we had before to tie up loose ends and quadruple check our work. By the time we were done we needed to head out to register, once we registered we met up with Rosalie and her team.

"Bella! Is that a hickey?!" Rosalie shoved my head to the side and got a closer look at the spot where Carlisle indeed had latched onto.

She drew the attention of a few people that passed by and she definitely had the attention of our teammates.

"We weren't going to say anything, but since someone else did…"Tyler trailed off.

"Is it that noticeable?" I panicked, I couldn't do my presentation with a massive love bite on my neck. I was in such a rush this morning that I didn't even notice.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me, her accusatory gaze asking me what she didn't want to ask out loud because no one knew of Jasper.

"I met someone last night," I said.

"So this is what happens when we leave you to your lonesome," Angela was more interested than I thought she would be. "Please tell us about the vampire you let suck you dry…or was it you that sucked him dry?"

I glared at her, hitting her on the shoulder. "This is not the place nor the time, Rosalie already told the whole damn room!"

"But who was he? How'd you meet him?" Tyler ignored me, so did everyone else.

"We met in the elevator, he asked me out," I gave the details in an underwhelming tone. "We had sex, that's it."

I mumbled the last part really low, afraid that others outside the group would hear.

"Boooo," Rosalie smacked her lips. "It sounds like he was terrible in bed, you don't seem too exuberant about it."

"That's because we're in the middle of a room filled with people I would really like to work with and would prefer them to not know about my personal sexscapades before they even know my name."

As if they finally understood why I never wanted to speak of this to begin with, they nodded their heads and ceased the questioning.

"You're not off the hook, we'll be getting the full details later." Rosalie said.

* * *

Once the intermission began I was up from my seat and headed straight for my hotel room. All I could think of was a shower and concealer.

Right on my heels was Rosalie, who probably thought I was running away from them so I didn't have to tell them about my night.

She caught the elevator with me. "Not so fast, you need to explain last night."

We weren't the only ones in the elevator, six others had joined us.

"We can definitely talk about this when we're in the room."

Inside the room she restlessly waited while I took the shower I missed out on this morning. The hot water burning my skin, rinsing away the physical remnants from the night prior.

Getting my own chance to examine the damage Carlisle left, I saw that the mark wasn't as big as they had exaggerated, but it was noticeable. But there was nothing that a bit of concealer couldn't solve.

Rose barged in, not caring if I was only in a towel. We were roommates at one point so I guess she thought that was qualification enough to converse with me while I was naked.

"There's nothing much to tell. We're both from out of town, it was his birthday, so we celebrated." A Cheshire grin crawled across my face as the memories of Carlisle came back.

"He was also turning 46 and had a big dick, a dick that he knows how to use very well."

All of Rose's pearly white teeth flashed me as she grinned in great glee.

"You slept with an older man and it was a one night stand! Bella what the hell got into you?"

I shrugged. "He was…enticing, he was also one of the most sweetest men ever."

"What's his name? Did you even get that? Why was he in town?"

"No, we spent the whole night together and I never thought to get his name." My dry sarcasm didn't humor her.

"His name was Carlisle, he said he was in town on business, but that was it. We didn't want to talk about work, so we didn't."

Rose didn't respond, she stayed silent for a minute or two while I got dressed again.

"Carlisle," she said the name aloud.

The way she said it reminded me that there was a sense of familiarity about him when he first introduced himself to me.

"Doesn't it sound like a name you've heard before?" I inquired to my friend.

"Bella," I turned to look Rose who was giving me a look of pity, but it quickly turned sinister.

"What?" Confusion had me nervous.

"So you don't know who he was? He didn't mention anything about why he was here?"

I shook my head. "He did say he was in the medical field." I pondered on it some more, wondering if that was where I heard his name.

She looked at her phone. "Shit, we've got ten minutes to get back down there."

I forgot Carlisle again, tying my hair into a bun and getting fully dressed before grabbing my things so that I could leave out the door with Rose.

* * *

With one deep breath and a quiet cheer from my team, I was walking onto the stage in front of a room full of people ready to judge me on my work.

But as I introduced myself and began to give a little background of my studies, I got a hold of some comfort and was able to dive right into my presentation.

While I spoke, I made sure to look at the faces I was speaking to, to see if I could read any of their impressions. Most faces were unreadable, others nodded in interest.

By the time my presentation got to the Q&A portion, I was pretty confident that I did a good job in explaining my research. Hands from all across the room went up and four people ran around the room to hand out mics so that everyone could hear the questions.

Being drilled on every bit of detail of my work wasn't as difficult as I perceived, even when I was questioned about my failings and results that didn't correlate with my theory, I was able to explain where I may have made a mistake or it was simply an outlier that occurred.

"The last question will come from the director of the Department of Neuroscience and Neurosurgery at the Ronald Reagan UCLA medical center, Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

The mic slipped from my hand and dropped onto the floor, the sound piercing through the speakers. I became stunned into paralysis, shocked beyond belief. The man who was handed the microphone was indeed the same blond man who I shoved into the back of a car and rode like a horse.

My mouth went completely dry and to make things worse, this was happening all in front of crowd of people and still Carlisle made me wet between the legs.

"Are you alright Miss. Swan?" he said into the microphone, snapping me back into existence.

Tyler ran up to the stage to pick up the mic and put it back in my hand.

"You're almost done Bella, don't lose it now." He whispered before he ran off.

Too late.

"I'm fine, please, continue with your question." I gathered myself as best as I could for the nuclear bomb that was just set off.

"Yes, I'm very familiar with Dr. Esme Platt's work. Her studies on drug induced sexual dysfunctions seems to be a sort of a catalyst for your own choice of research. There was a particular patient that I was a consultant for, her lack in ability to reach climax was due to a neurological disorder caused by years of opioid abuse, can you discuss further the findings about the patient's case as she seems to also be listed as one of your patients."

My brain finally decided to work in recalling where I knew his name, I had never met him even though we worked so closely and were mutually acquainted with Dr. Esme who was the professor I worked under. I'm sure she mentioned his name and he was also listed in multiple of her publications. But since I never put a face to the name, it was a name that didn't hold much to it.

And was it me or did Carlisle purposely bring up this topic out of a revenge scheme to get back at me for my own teasing? If so, this was just plain diabolical.

But I answered the question nonetheless. "Yes, this particular patient that Dr. Cullen speaks of had not been able to reach sexual peak even though she has been in seven years of remission from her drug addiction. She entered into Dr. Platt's study and began treatments that were unsuccessful in the beginning, but as I began my research we worked with the patient through therapy combined with a small dosage of progestogen."

"And the result?" Carlisle further pursued. "Is she able to enjoy pleasurable intercourse with her partner?

"Yes, Dr. Cullen. Yes she is." My entire face felt like it was on fire.

Not because of the room filled with people, because they were all professionals in the same field. So it wasn't at all awkward to speak on the topic of sex, especially since we spoke in a scientific manner.

It was the fact that it hadn't even been 24 hours since Carlisle had seen my cum face multiple times and now he was taunting me on stage. On top of the fact that he made my nipples hard and my thoughts foggy.

"Thank you," was all he said with a simple smile, but behind that smile was a knowing glint in his eyes.

The room filled with applause and I couldn't get off the stage fast enough.

Like laser beams my eyes scoured through the crowd until I found Rose. Her own face was a beet color, as she fought hard to keep her laughter in.

Without drawing too much attention, I took Rose by the arm and left the conference room. Once we got far enough she released the cackle she had been denying.

"You knew! You asshole! You knew and didn't say anything!"

"Because that was a once in a lifetime opportunity! The look on your face when you realized you had sex with not only one of the most bragged about faculty member of our university, but also Dr. Esme's friend since their undergraduate years." She burst back into another fit of laughter. "Seriously Bella, what were you thinking? How could you have not possibly known who he was?"

I was not at all amused; mortified was a better word for this tragic plot twist.

"I'm an idiot that's how I didn't know," I whined, slumping down against the wall.

"Wasn't Dr. Esme going to introduce you to him when you came back from the conference."

My face fell even more. "No," I said with a voice devoid of hope. "She told me she would have him introduce himself to me at the conference, he was a last minute addition."

Rose fell silent, no longer mocking me with her laughter, but she sputtered and continued to be the worst friend ever.

"Do you think he knew?" I asked. "He couldn't have possibly known."

At this point I was talking to myself, no longer considering Rose as a friend.

"But I told him that I was a student at UCLA and that I was here for the conference. He had to have figured it out."

"No way, that's a dangerous choice on his behalf. He's the director of an entire department in the hospital and he's receiving the chief of surgery position next month once Dr. Crowley retires."

I looked up at her. "Do you enjoy sticking the knife in me repeatedly? Are you not satisfied with the suffering you've already caused?"

Her jaw slacked. "You didn't know that either? They announced it a few days ago."

"I've been a bit preoccupied, preparing for the conference, trying to recuperate from being a cheating scumbag."

She shook her head at me. "This is some fucked up shit."

"I'm going to look on the bright side," I wasn't about to let one night potentially ruin something that could skyrocket my career.

"Working under Dr. Cullen after getting my doctorate is the something I couldn't even dream of. He's one of the best neurologist in the country!"

Rose snickered. "Poor choice of words."

My face deadpanned. "I'm never speaking to you again."

"I'll quit, scout's honor," she held up her fingers.

"You weren't even a scout you dumb blond."

"No need to throw around insults, I'm just trying to make light of the situation."

"How?!"

"Look, the only people that knows right now is you, Dr. Cullen and myself. I sure as hell would never say anything and I'm quite sure the same goes for you both."

She had a point.

"Just keep you mouth shut, if he doesn't mention anything about last night, then neither should you."

"And if I were to make mention of it?" Dr. Cullen's voice came from behind us.

It felt as if all the blood in my veins ran cold. Neither one of us turned around.

"I'm leaving, I'll see you back in the conference." And Rose abandoned me just like that, not even giving me a chance to protest.

I'm seriously going to have to reconsider our friendship.

I took several deep breaths before turning around.

"Sorry about earlier," he started. "I couldn't resist."

His hair was back to its groomed status, unlike the last time I had seen him. He wore a pair of gray slacks with a blue collared shirt, giving a nice view of his muscular form. He had shaven any remnants of a beard, giving him a more polished look.

Damn it he was beautiful. It would be easier if he were uglier. I might not even be in this predicament if he were uglier.

"And sorry that I didn't tell you who I was, I will admit I didn't recognize you either when we first met in the elevator."

"Why didn't you say anything when you did discovered I was Dr. Esme's student?" I wasn't necessarily angry, just perplexed.

"Would you have continued on with our date if you knew? Honestly Bella, last night was a breath of fresh air. I hadn't felt like that in years and I made a split second decision – albeit foolish – to enjoy the moment."

He rubbed the back of his neck, his movements awkward.

"When I first realized who you were, I did think about ending our evening. But that dress, your legs…just everything about you shrouded my better judgment. And even at dinner, the entire time all I could think about was Esme. She would kill me if she knew about this, but then you started talking about living in the moment and just doing what I wanted to do."

He was talking about Dr. Esme at the dinner table, she did indeed have a daughter that was seven years younger than me.

"So you're blaming me for you deciding to sleep with me?" I concluded.

He shook his head. "No, I'm just saying that even a man that everyone applauds for his intelligence is not exempt from turning into a complete dunce when approached by a gorgeous woman."

How flattering. But that didn't solve the issue at hand.

"We were supposed to officially meet today, Dr. Esme said you were interested in my research." Not my vagina.

"I was. I am. Bel…" he paused. "Miss. Swan, don't think that what happened between us effects our future relationship. I've heard great things about you, not just from Dr. Esme, but from many others who have been fortunate to see you work. I think I'd be very lucky to have someone like you working in my department."

For someone with such a occupation, reputation and even how highly Dr. Esme spoke of him, I knew that he meant what he said.

"How about we go and grab something to drink and discuss this more." He held up both of hands. "I mean that in a platonic way."

I didn't want it to be platonic, that was also the other issue.

"I told my team I'd take them out after my presentation, I'm sure their looking for me." He nodded in understanding. "But I'll be free afterwards, if you don't have any plans."

"Let's exchange numbers and I'll be waiting for your call."

There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that probably signified something ominous, but it could also be the fact when I saw Dr. Cullen, my body went into overdrive.

Either way, I was fucked.


	5. Author's Note

After returning to upload another chapter, I realized that I accidentally put the wrong chapter up so there is a gap in the story. If you have read Chapter 5, I'm sure it didn't make sense time wise. I've uploaded the chapter that was meant to be in its place.

Thanks for reading and I'm sorry I suck hard at this!


	6. Chapter 5

**Author: So due to my foolishness, I realized that I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter and there is a gap of events.  
**

**So Sorry!**

"I need to stop drinking," my head fell on the bar, talking to Rose. But when I looked up, I saw the back of her head as she bounced her way to the dance floor.

Everyone had abandoned me, not caring about my misery. Too busy celebrating our success at the conference, but I was too distracted by Carlisle to join them.

I stared at my phone, Carlisle's contact information pulled up. It had been for at least an hour, but I was too afraid to do anything. That was before the liquor in my system began to reduce my cognitive skills.

I stood from the stool and swayed a bit, I walked through the crowd and out of the club where I could actually hear.

I sat on a bench and called Carlisle up, I listened as the phone rang, hoping he wouldn't answer, but after the third ring his voice rang on the other end.

"I didn't think I'd hear from you, at least anytime soon."

"Neither did I, but someone recently told me that avoidance isn't healthy."

"Where are you now? I would prefer to speak with you in person."

"I'm a little bit on the inebriated side, but I think I'm coherent enough to deal with…us?"

"I can pick you up and we can find a quiet place to talk."

"Sounds like a good idea, as long as there are people. I'm not sure I trust myself alone with you."

A light chuckle went into my ear, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"Send me your location and I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hung up and gave him the name of the club we were at. I sent Rose and the gang a text saying I was headed out and I'd see them in the morning.

He was there in fifteen minutes, I slid into the passenger seat and he was pulling back off the curb.

I inhaled his scent and it seemed to intoxicate me more than the alcohol.

In the dark of the night I could still make out his beautiful features. He was wearing a t shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

"Were you waiting for my call?" I asked.

"I was, I had stop myself several times from reaching out to you first, I wanted to give you time to sort your thoughts out."

"You sound like you've already come to a conclusion."

"I think I have, but I want to hear your thoughts before I make a full decision."

My life couldn't just be simple, there had to be plot twists that cause anxiety. This was supposed to be a simple one night stand and meeting Dr. Cullen was supposed to be a completely professional interaction. Somehow both events came together and created chaos.

I had no idea what to say to him, he was going to be my boss. Now that we've slept together, could we really work together? Would it make him feel uncomfortable? Was his decision to not pursue a professional relationship together?

We arrived at a bluff that overlooked San Francisco. Carlisle parked the car and shut it off, the light from the lamppost outside giving us a good view of each other.

"I thought I told you I've been drinking so my resolve isn't the greatest."

"I figured this isn't a conversation we can have in public and I should have enough restraint for the both of us."

"Ok, well, I think you should begin." I took the coward's route.

"I'm not even sure where I can begin," he sighed.

"You knew who I was, you knew that I was a candidate to work with you. You knew before I did that this wasn't going to be just a one night stand, that eventually we'd meet. So why go through with it? Why not say anything?"

We watched each other, our eyes seeming to be searching for answers we were both too nervous to say.

"Because I was hoping that this…we would continue what we started here."

I was not expecting that.

"Can you run that back?" Had the alcohol also altered my hearing?

"I'm saying I'm interested in getting to know you Bella, not just as someone I'll be working over and not just for a one night stand. I enjoyed myself last night with you, so much so that I'm potentially embarrassing myself and ruining an opportunity to work with an amazing person."

I was stunned into silence. Unsure of if I had actually passed out at the club a long time ago and this was all a dream.

"Bella, I really would like you to say something. This is already driving me crazy, tell me what you're thinking."

"I want to see where this will go too…I'd be an idiot to say no, but…"

"But?" He asked.

"What about Esme? I'm also applying to be in your department at the hospital."

Instead of answering he leaned over the center console and captured my lips with a kiss that told me I was worried about something I shouldn't be at the moment.

He smiled. "Tequila must be a favorite of yours."

"It gave me the courage to be here with you so I'd say it's done be some good," I pressed our lips back together.

Before I knew it, I was climbing over the console and into Carlisle's lap.

"Whoa, wait a minute. Last time we did this, it was just for one night. Now that we've agreed there's more to us, I'm not expec…"

"Carlisle," I said his name.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Shut up." I kissed him, leaning the chair back to make this situation a little bit more comfortable.

"This must be the "slightly inebriated" side of you."

"Maybe, but you've never made it easy to keep my hands off of you." I pulled off his shirt and yanked off the little black dress I wore out to the club.

"Fuck Bella, is not having on underwear a norm for you?"

I was completely nude underneath my dress.

"It's stifling, plus I was kind of hoping I'd get laid by a very sexy doctor so I wanted quick and easy access."

"Seriously?" He asked me. "Did you expect the night to end like this?"

"I didn't know how we were going to end, but I was at least going to make sure I made this a night neither one us forgot."

"You sound pretty certain about what I'd say to that," he took hold of my breasts.

I grabbed him through his sweats and he groaned.

"You've given away how much you like being inside of me, I had a feeling turning me down would be highly unlikely."

He shoved his sweats down to reveal that nothing was underneath them and I laughed.

"I think we both had the same intentions," he didn't waste another second, taking hold of my hips and guiding me onto him.

I bit my lip, moaning in satisfaction of having him returned to me. I began to rock back and forth with a slow motion while Carlisle thrust upwards, matching my movements.

I was thankful that both of us got what we wanted and more.

* * *

Returning home to Jasper was something I was dreading the moment I began packing to return. I fucked up starting something with Carlisle without telling him about Jasper and without figuring out what I truly felt about him.

I was thankful he wasn't home when I arrived, but I needed to speak with him. So I called him to find that he was working at the club. Dropping my bags, I grabbed the keys to my car and headed to the club.

What was I going to say? I met someone else so we can't screw around anymore? That didn't mean anything when he was with Alice, so that doesn't hold much water to it.

Liking Carlisle also didn't stop what I felt about Jasper. My heart was racing as I drove to him, afraid of possibly ruining us…not whatever we had between us now. But our friendship.

Pulling up to the club, I got out to find Edward and one of their employees unloading kegs from a truck.

"Bella, you're looking…quite vibrant. The San Francisco sun is a good look on you." Edward smiled.

Good dick also helps. But I didn't share that info.

"Where's Jasper?" I didn't feed into him, it was easier that way. So I asked Sam.

"In the wine cellar." He replied.

"Thanks," and with that I walked off.

I headed to the basement of the building and found Jasper taking inventory. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Welcome back," he continued counting and writing down numbers on the piece of paper.

"I slept with another man and he asked me out and I said yes so we're going to keep seeing each other here." I vomited the words out so quickly I hadn't even had the chance to consent to them. I was so damn nervous. "Shit, I'm sorry." My words weren't as nearly as careful and calculated as I wanted them to be.

Jasper set his clipboard down after a minute or two. He hadn't spoken a single word.

"That explains why I hadn't heard from you," he said and I felt guilt.

"What are we doing Jasper?" I sighed. "We aren't in a relationship, but the entire trip back I kept feeling ashamed."

"Clearly if I did want something more, you didn't even bother to wait."

His words took me off guard. "What?"

"What if I did want us to be together? What if I was tired of hiding behind our friendship and wanted to finally be with you?"

He closed the gap between us and I could feel where this was headed.

"You know me better than anyone else and the same goes for me about you. Why not?" He pressed me up against a wooden table.

"Jasper, I just told you I'm seeing someone else."

"So you're just able to completely rid yourself of how you feel about me?" He lifted me onto the table. "Now you can tell me no?"

"It's for the best, we both need to move on." My resolve was weakened to almost nothing just from his touch.

"I missed you Bella, it was only a few days, but I missed all of you." He stepped to me once more, pulling on my tank top.

"I came here to tell you that for Alice's sake, for the sake of our friendship, we need to stop. This is the perfect time to end whatever this is before it gets worse."

"You're deciding this, not me." He said.

"Jasper, you know I'm right."

"I don't care, I'm tired of wondering, if asking myself if it's ok to feel the way I do about you." His tone changed to express his irritation.

"Maybe if Alice wasn't such a big part of both our lives and you two never happened, then it'd be okay. But I can't keep this up, I'll never feel comfortable with this."

I ran away from him before he could argue back, of course he chased after me.

"You're only saying this to justify seeing someone else."

"You're right, I shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to be with someone else, especially since we aren't actually together."

He grabbed my arm. "I'm telling you now that we can be, why does it matter what Alice thinks? You don't even talk to her."

"This is the reason we can never be together, because you don't see what would be so wrong. We lied to someone we both love and care for, repeatedly and somehow you think it's ok? You may have moved on, but I haven't and I won't disrespect Alice and hurt her anymore than what we already have."

I snatched my arm back and rushed off, feeling even dirtier than ever before. As I drove off, my phone began to ring. I thought it was going to be Jasper, but it was Carlisle.

"Fuck!" I screamed. I was now going to have to tell Carlisle about Jasper sooner than I would've like.

I answered the phone. "Is it too soon to see you again? I know there's a rule somewhere about how long I should wait to contact you, but I'm just going to risk looking foolish and ask if you'd want to go out with me."

"Actually there's something I need to tell you, so it'd be good if we met today."

"Sure, there's a coffee shop I frequent. I'll send you the address and we can meet there." His playful tone was gone and it hurt me.

I drove to the coffee shop, my nerves so bad that my stomach began to churn relentlessly.

I wouldn't be surprised if he just ended things, preferring not to risk getting his feelings hurt. Which would be understandable, I'd probably do the same thing. And what would this say of my character? Would he even want to work with someone who slept with two different men, after telling one of them that I'd pursue a relationship with him? I was trash.

I arrived at the coffee shop first and grabbed a table in the back, away from people.

Carlisle arrived and sat across from me.

"Did you grab something to drink?" He asked.

I shook my head. "My nerves are bad enough, caffeine will only make this worse."

Concern moved across his features. "What's wrong?"

I looked over at him. This was going to be hard, possibly letting go of a great man.

"Carlisle, I haven't been honest with you. At first I didn't think I had to tell you because once we agreed to see each other, I thought that it'd be easy. But upon returning home, I was proven wrong."

"Can you explain?"

"I have a friend, we've known each other since we were younger and we've been completely platonic up until six years ago. From there it's been a mess, we hurt a good friend of ours. He was in a relationship with her and we still decided to see each other. And we continued to see each other after she found out. Up until the conference we've been sleeping together. But we never discussed if we were in a relationship." I tried to gauge what Carlisle was thinking, but I couldn't. Which worried me, but I continued.

"When I met with you, I didn't think I was cheating because I wasn't with him. When you asked me to continue past just one night, I hadn't even thought of him. It wasn't until I came back that I realized that there was more going on than I was willing to admit. But this time, someone else was involved again."

"What are you telling me? That you're choosing him over me?" He didn't say it out of absurdity, but rather genuine surprise that it seemed to be ending between us so quickly.

I shook my head. "No, I'm telling you about something that I'm not even sure about. I don't want to go any further with you without you knowing about this, so that you can choose whether or not you want to continue this with me."

He didn't say anything, but he continued to look at me. After another minute that seemed infinite, he spoke.

"Bella, I've lost a woman I cared for because I was unfaithful. In a moment of lack of self-control; I lost all that I ever wanted. I'm not single because I haven't met the right person, I'm single because I lost the trust of someone I cared deeply for. Now that it's out there that we've both been responsible for ruining relationships, I need to know right now where you stand. I want you; I haven't felt this way about someone in a very long time. But I'm not going to risk getting hurt because of that. But you're here which tells me that you feel the same way."

Him telling me that he has cheated as well wasn't a comfort nor did I dare judge him for it, but it was a relief. He understood that we make mistakes, that we've both done something we deeply regret and we were working towards making sure it wouldn't happen again.

"I want this, nothing else." I was sure of it.

"A childhood friend is hard to compete against and I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't a jealous man."

"So it probably would be best if I told you that he's currently living with me."

He smiled. "I won't be unreasonable and say that he needs to leave immediately, but it would be a great comfort to know that he was looking for somewhere else to live."

I nodded, he took my hand in his.

"Now that that's out of the way, can I take you on a date?"

"I'd like that," I smiled.

"Good, let's go."

"A carnival?" This was the last place I'd expect Carlisle would want to go on a date.

I looked around the parking lot that was transformed into a carnival packed with rollercoasters, food vendors and games. In the late afternoon, it attracted hundreds of people on a beautiful, sunny Sunday.

"I'll admit it does seem odd, but you've inspired me to go outside the norm."

I arched an eyebrow at him, still wondering if this was a good idea.

"You're not afraid of being seen?"

He took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. Oddly, it didn't feel uncomfortable or awkward as it usually would. I looked from our hands and up at him.

"You're not my employee just yet and I highly doubt I'll spot anyone I'm associated with at a place like this."

If he wasn't concerned then neither was I. We walked into the carnival after purchasing tickets. The lot was jam packed with people, music boisterously playing in the back drop, but the conversations and laughter was still victorious.

"What do you want to do first?" I asked overwhelmed by the people, the amount of rides and activities.

"I'll admit I haven't been on a rollercoaster in a long time," he was looking at one particular ride that carried you at least 100 feet in the air and then dropped you down with incredible speed.

"Let's go then," With our hands still combined, we walked to our first activity, finding the end of the line of people waiting.

"I spoke with Esme today, she wants us to meet to discuss you working with me at the hospital."

Esme seemed to be more tenacious about my future than me, she's been advocating for me since my senior year of high school. She's been there for me every step of the way, pushing me past my own expectations and limits and she hasn't relented. She was a high school friend of my mom, when they reunited, my mom told her I was interested in psychology and the rest is history.

Esme was like a mother to me, her eldest daughter and I were close in age so she treated me as one of her own.

"How is it that we've never crossed paths when we both have a close relationship with Esme?" I was perplexed that not even a photo of Carlisle has appeared in the time I've known Esme.

"I'll be honest, I've seen the picture of you on her desk with her daughters. But it was from when you were in high school, seeing you in the elevator I had sensed that I had seen you from somewhere, but the connection didn't come until you told me you were a student from UCLA."

We continued to get closer to the ride as the line moved forward.

"What do you think Esme will think?" I asked, she was usually supportive of my relationships, but this wouldn't be like the typical guys I've been with.

Carlisle seemed to ponder for a moment. "I'm not sure, but I'll admit I'm more inclined to hold off telling her."

"You think she won't approve?" Esme knew us both, so I would think she'd be accepting regardless of our age difference.

"She's very protective of you and her daughters, I'll tread carefully for now. She is a good friend and I wouldn't want to upset her."

"Agreed."

"Let's just plan to meet with her sometime this week and discuss your position at the hospital."

"And this is a new thing for us, I think it's ok that we keep it to ourselves while we get to know each other." I offered more reasoning.

"Another fair point. On that note, tell me about yourself Isabella Swan." He smiled down at me.

I gave him as much information as time waiting in line would allow. I told him about my parents, the divorce, the estranged father and the best friend/mother and the step father. I shared my childhood and how it was mostly spent with Jasper, giving a little more insight on who Jasper was to me. As I spoke of him, I grew nervous of Carlisle's thoughts on Jasper.

"So you've known Jasper most of your life, it sounds like for most of your relationship you two behaved more like siblings."

I nodded. "I wish it would've stayed that way. I'm not sure how we'll come out of this situation."

Carlisle didn't say anything.

"Sorry, I'm on a date with you and I'm talking about another man."

"Jasper is more than 'another man', I can tell you care for him. My silence was not because I was offended or hurt, but rather contemplative."

"Care to explain?"

He shook his head. "Not yet, it's a developing theory and it's too early in its formation to share."

"You're definitely a researcher," I laughed at him.

"I can't help it at times," he joined me in the laughter.

We rode a couple of different rides before we thought it would be good to give our bodies a break. We decided to have nachos and churros for dinner, sitting at large wooden picnic tables among other hungry people.

"This doesn't seem like a typical activity in your life," I watched as he took a chip tucked underneath a layer of meat, cheese, lettuce and jalapeños.

"No, I'm usually at work or at home, sometimes I have dinner with my brother at his house."

"You have a brother?"

"I have two and a sister, I'm the second oldest."

"Are you close to them?"

"Yes, we get along quite well. My sister is married and she travels with her husband doing humanitarian aid through the government. The eldest took over the family business and lives only a few blocks down the road from me with his wife and three kids. And then there is Aro, which you've met. He owns several restaurants around the world and has no intentions of settling down anytime soon."

"That was your brother?" There was no similarities in their resemblance.

He smiled. "I'm actually the strange one of the bunch, everyone took after our father. I share my mother's features."

"You also seem like you were raised in completely different households," I recalled Aro as eccentric and arrogant.

"Aro is definitely cut from a different cloth, he was the rebellious one of the group and I think eventually my parents just accepted that the more they told him 'no', the more likely he'd do it."

"How were you as a child? Obedient? A chip of the ol' block?" I was more interested in knowing Carlisle than his siblings.

Taking a sip of his drink he gave a light snort of laughter.

"If you ask my parents I'm sure they'd tell I was just as much of a problem child as Aro. I watched my older brother Marcus sacrifice much of his self to appease our parents. For most of childhood I did go along with it, but once I realized it was all for the approval and validation, I chose to not be apart of the charade." Carlisle played with a chip, dipping it into the cheese sauce. "Reputation was important in my household, so there was no misbehaving…there wasn't much of anything. My father was always busy with the company and my mother was concerned with her social events, so my siblings and I relied on each other."

"Sounds like your not too close to your parents."

"Once again it depends on who you're talking to. I'm a successful surgeon lined up to become the chief of surgery at one of the prestigious hospitals in the country, because of that I've done my job as a son of the Cullen household."

"But according to you?" I pried further.

"No, I attend their events to keep them satisfied and check on their well being when I can, but there's not much of a relationship there."

He didn't seem to be affected by the lack of affection and care from his parents, maybe because he has time to accept it.

"You sound close to your mother, but not your father," it was his turn to ask me about my parents.

"Well after finding out about the other family I haven't spoken to him, he tried to reach out a few years ago. He left voicemail apologizing for his actions, I replied with text that simply contained a thumbs up emoji. I assume he caught the sarcasm because he hasn't reached out since."

"Good thing you have your mom and Phil sounds like a good guy."

"Any man that raises another person's child is great in my eyes, he's been a huge support to my mom and I. Renée is scattered brained and flighty, so once he stepped into the picture our household became a lot easier to live in. But she's always been there for me and has done her best to undo the damage of a negligent father."

"You're a lucky girl," he stopped playing with the food and leaned back.

"Renée is still overbearing, I'm close to 30 and I still have to give her welfare checks every time I go out. Which I don't."

He laughed. "Ease your mother's worry, at least she's concerned."

I rolled my eyes. "She's paranoid, she watches _Law and Order: SVU_ religiously."

Another small bout of laughter came from the handsome man whose full attention I seemed to have captured.

"I'd like to meet her one day, she sounds like quite the woman."

I smiled, did he say that in a light hearted way?

"Do you think she'd be okay with her daughter being in a relationship with a man closer to her age?"

"Renée dreams of the day that I'll bring home a man. She's been dying for me to settle down and give her grandkids." I snorted thinking of just how ecstatic she'll be when she finds out I'm actually dating.

"Is that something that's in your near future? Marriage? Kids?" Carlisle asked and I was taken a bit by surprise.

"We are entering some intense territory for a first date, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "I'm at an age where I'm much more selective and intentional about dating. So asking the more serious questions in the beginning is beneficial."

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "So, this date is to figure if I'm worth your time? You want to see if I'm looking for something serious or if I'm just looking for a fuck buddy."

My choice of words caught him by surprise.

"Your candor is going to take some adjusting to," he folded his arms and nodded. "And the answer is yes, I'm trying to see what Isabella wants."

"Isabella very much enjoyed Carlisle as a fuck buddy, but you are interested in more. I honestly haven't been looking for a relationship, with school and all."

I rested my hand on my head, playfully pondering. Holding eye contact with Carlisle while he waited for my response.

"But I'd be an idiot if I didn't want to see where this goes. I've really enjoyed making you uncomfortable."

He laughed at me. "You don't make me uncomfortable, but you do keep me on my toes. But back to my original question, do you see marriage and children in your near future?"

I shrugged. "Honestly I've been so focused on my career that I haven't gotten the chance to consider it and I also need a man in my life for both of those to come to fruition. But yes, I would like a family. Do I pass the test? If I failed I'd like to offer the position of Interim Fuck Buddy until my service is no longer required."

Carlisle's head fell back as he released a hearty laughter that garnered the attention of the people close by.

"Interim Fuck Buddy?"

"Yes, I've got to say Carlisle you'd be hard to let go. I'm not the jealous type, but I'd be pretty pissed if I have hand you off to another woman."

"Wow, I'm glad you think I'm a good…Fuck Buddy." He tried the words out in his mouth. "You flatter me."

"It's not just your penis Carlisle, you make a girl feel wanted… special."

His head dropped and he shook it. "That's an interesting compliment, thank you. But it isn't hard, I want you and I like how you are with me. I've grown up around people who want things from you and in my career it's been the same thing."

"No, I'm definitely here because I'm willing to do whatever to get this job. Please don't get it confused." I teased him.

"Then I'll need you to prove that you deserve this position more than anyone else." He replied back, his voice dropping lower.

"I've got many positions I can show you that prove it," I quickly retorted enjoying this side of Carlisle.

He shifted in his seat. "Fuck Bella, you can't do this when I don't have the ability to bury myself inside of you."

"You know, I never thought hearing a man say a curse word could be such a turn on." He rarely swore, it seems as if his elitist upbringing and apparent sheltered childhood required him to abstain from vulgar language. I wouldn't say that my tendency for having a potty mouth made him uncomfortable, but I could tell he wasn't accustomed to people who spoke as shamelessly as I.

"Let's steer away from this type of banter, we're in public and I'd rather not have a child see what my seemingly unpreventable reaction to you looks like."

"Don't start what you can't finish," I winked at him, the smile naturally came.

"Oh, I want to finish, but in a much more private scenery." He leaned forward, our conversation still heated.

"Then shall we move on to the next part of our date? Your place?"

"Let's go."


	7. Chapter 6

Carlisle lived in a swanky, luxurious apartment building in Bel Air. He drove us there in short amount of time, the electricity between us palpable; as he pulled into the underground parking garage my anticipation grew.

Out the car, he lead the way to an elevator, pushing me inside. Once he pressed his floor number, he was all over me; lifting me into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist.

"You're not afraid of being caught by your neighbors?" I said pulling away from the desperate kiss we were sharing.

"My neighbors are either old and retired or too busy to be home. No one is out this late," he resumed the kiss.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, Carlisle moved to walk out with me still in his arms, but our path was obstructed by an older man and his dog.

Carlisle and I stared at the man while he stared back with a quick moment of surprise, he stepped back to allow us to pass once he gathered himself.

"Frank, good to see you." Carlisle spoke first.

Frank, clearly unbothered, just nodded. "Good to see you're enjoying yourself, my wife and I were getting worried." He looked at me and simply nodded.

With that, the elevator doors closed and I couldn't help the fit of laughter induced by Frank's comment.

"Wow, Frank and his wife were worried for you."

Carlisle pretended to not be amused, but he couldn't hide his smile. He picked me back up and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me down the hall while I giggled.

"Turns out your neighbors pay more attention than you think they do. Does that mean you don't bring much company home?"

He unlocked his apartment, moving around with familiarity in the dark.

"Shut up," he stepped inside his bedroom and flicked on the lights.

Tossing me onto the bed, he climbed over me and picked up where we left off in the elevator before Frank caught us.

The thought made me laugh again and Carlisle looked down at me, playfully impatient.

"I'm sorry, but it's funny. Carlisle, do you not bring any women home?"

"I'm too busy and shouldn't you be less curious about how many women I've brought home?" His tone said he shouldn't be explaining this.

"I have you now so it doesn't matter and plus I wonder was that night we met due to a lot of pent up sexual energy?"

"Are you making fun of me because my lack of a sex life?"

"No, I'm making fun of you because Frank and his wife were making fun of your sex life." I burst into another fit of laughter.

Carlisle's hands in my shorts immediately changed my sounds of laughter into moans of surprise.

His fingers entered me while thumb moved over my nub of nerves.

"Are we done laughing or should I stop?" I shook my head, my hips grooving to the thrusts of his fingers.

"Good."

He stopped the dual action to strip me from my shorts. He threw them and yanked my t shirt off of me, my breasts free underneath.

"It's been hard not to grab one of your nipples with my mouth all day, I have to say I think I like your omission of underwear."

My boobs weren't small, but they weren't so big that walking around without a bra would garner attention, at least not much.

His tongue flicked out and licked one my nipples. He teased me with another quick flick before his mouth gently took in one of my breasts, using his teeth to apply just the right amount of pressure.

I exhaled a sigh of approval, his attention to my breasts cut short as his mouth moved south, tasting the skin on my torso. My heart raced in anticipation as he grew closer to my center.

My head fell back, a long moan released from my lips in response to his mouth making contact with me. His tongue moving in precise circular motions, with a curled finger that expertly touched a spot inside of me that brought on of the quickest orgasms I've had. But that didn't diminish the intensity, Carlisle's other hand pressed onto my stomach to stop my hips from bucking wildly.

His name spilled from my lips, his tongue and finger working at me to bring me to another climax, but I stopped him. I got up and pushed him onto the mattress, removing his clothes until he joined me in my nudity.

I took him into my mouth, taking in as much as could. Carlisle gave a sharp exhale, his hand lightly grabbing my hair with a fist. I ran my tongue up his length, teasing him a bit before taking him back into mouth. The groans and slew of curse words seemed to fuel me; I took pleasure in knowing I was able to satisfy him this way.

"I'm not going to make if you keep this up, I want to be inside of you Bella." He stopped me and effortlessly flipped us, smoothly entering into me.

His hips jerked quickly but controlled, his pace consistent with my hips. The build of an orgasm began to form, with each stroke urging the sensation forward. His mouth latched onto my neck, with his teeth biting my flesh pleasurably. I knew it'd leave a mark again, but I didn't even care because it was the catalyst that sent my orgasm to completion. Carlisle came right after, his hips giving a few final thrusts before collapsing.

Out of breath and sweaty, we remained silent while we came back down from the physical high. I listened to my heartbeat decrease, Carlisle's head still in the crook of my neck.

"Frank and his wife would be proud." I cracked.

I woke up in Carlisle's arms, the sun blocked out from the curtains, but its rays still peeked around the edges.

I looked up to see that Carlisle was already up, his blue eyes capturing mine.

"You should've woke me up," I tried to move, but he pulled me back into him.

"You looked too peaceful, I'm sure you needed the sleep after a long week." I smiled, resting my head back on his chest. There he was with the attentive care.

"Do you think we're moving too fast?" I asked him.

"Do you feel that way?" He caressed the skin on my back.

"I've never experienced anything like this before, it's been a week and after two dates I already feel…" I trailed off and looked up at him.

I wasn't sure what I felt, but the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to know him, to learn about him, to simply be in his presence.

"I like where this is going, but I don't want you to think this is about sex. As much as I truly enjoy it, I enjoy spending time with you. Bella this is also new to me, I'm a very careful and calculated man. But ever since I met you, I just want to throw caution to the wind."

A part of me was nervous of moving so quickly, afraid that my feelings would get hurt and that I would regret rushing into whatever we were headed into.

"If you want we can slow it down, I can be as patient and wait as long as you need me to." He touched my cheek. "We can just date, continue to get to know each other and go at a rate that's comfortable for you."

I shook my head after a quick moment of thought. "What's the fun in life if you don't take a chance?"

Time seemed to rush by after returning from the conference, a day turned into a week and weeks turned into months. Before I knew it, I was preparing for my commencement in a few days as well as an interview with the hospital board for their neuropsychologist position. I had interviewed with the new director of the Neuroscience and Neurosurgery along with five others and passed, with help from Esme. Carlisle offered to help, but since he worked for the hospital I didn't want him involved. I wanted him to be as objective as possible, if someone was more experienced and capable than I was, then I didn't want him to feel burdened by that. The fact was that I was most likely the least experienced out of the candidates. I hadn't even received my doctorate yet; I didn't know much about the others but they were older which meant they had more knowledge, experience, and credibility than I.

"You're qualified for the position. Dr. Garrett wouldn't have pushed you into the final interview with the board if he didn't think so." Carlisle handed me my glass of wine and sat down on the couch with me.

Date night was at my condo, it was the first time we had seen one another in two and a half weeks. Between me finishing my dissertation and him starting his new role as chief of surgery, we had difficulty with matching our schedules. Finally we managed to free up a day and decided to stay in and cook dinner. After a wonderful meal that Carlisle whipped up, we found ourselves conversing in my living room. Bruce trotting in to curl himself underneath his new best friend. Two weeks into dating Carlisle I took him with Bruce and I for a walk and the two have been inseparable. Bruce was a friendly dog, but was quite jealous when my attention was on someone or even something else. It took him a while to get comfortable around people, Carlisle wasn't an exception. But after bribing him with chew toys and a large cut of steak just for him, Bruce was sold. Jasper was the only one who Bruce never needed to warm up to, it made sense since he was there when I picked up.

After I spoke with him about Carlisle our relationship got harder, Jasper not understanding why I moved so quickly into a relationship without even trying to figure how I felt about him, about us. Regardless of what I felt, it wouldn't negate that I valued my friendship with Jasper more than anything and I wouldn't risk losing him in that way. But I also would prove Alice's fear to be true: Jasper and I lied to her. We truly hadn't, we never were in a relationship and we weren't in love…if we were I didn't want to dig any further to find out. Jasper and I being together would be messy and complicated.

Carlisle wasn't. Minus the part that he might potentially be working over me at the hospital.

"What are you thinking about?" Carlisle asked me, pulling my legs into his lap.

I sighed. "You. Jasper. Life."

"When was the last time you spoke with him?" He asked me. I appreciated that he was understanding that Jasper was a big part of my life. He didn't get upset that Jasper and I still spent time together and didn't seem to have any distrust towards me.

"Today, he stopped by to pick a few of his things he left behind." Jasper had only moved out a couple of weeks ago, he stubbornly held on to the idea that I would give him a chance. But after finally accepting that Carlisle wasn't going anywhere, he found an apartment and vacated the room in my condo.

What finally made him accept it was Carlisle's impromptu visits and sleepovers. Carlisle wasn't joking when he said he was the jealous type. He didn't like the idea that Jasper was living with me, so if he didn't come over, he invited me to stay at his place.

"You never told me your theory," I said to him. "It was our date at the carnival and you said you had a working theory about Jasper and I. What was it?"

Recollection flashed across his face. "Yes, but I still don't think I can share it with you. Not because it's developing, but because I'm not sure it's my place to tell you."

I looked at him with a perplexed expression. "Now I _have_ to know what this theory is."

He sipped his wine, shaking his head. "It's just my opinion about something, no need to waste time on it."

I narrowed my eyes at him, weary about his attempt at being nonchalant. "Just tell me then, it's just your opinion so it won't change anything."

"It will, because you think too much and I'd rather you focus on us tonight. It's been too long since I've seen you." He massaged my leg, obviously he was trying to distract my attention away from the subject at hand. But he was right, we hadn't seen each other in a while.

"How has work been?" I relented, at least for now.

Bruce stood from his spot and walked over to the patio door, signaling that it was time for him to go outside.

"It's been hectic, but I've got the feeling that it's always going to be like this, I just have to learn how to gain control of the chaos." Carlisle shared while I stood to let Bruce out.

"I know much of the staff wasn't too happy about Dr. Crowley stepping down, has that affected you at all?" I sat back down, placing my legs back into his lap.

"There's a few people who are blatant about their disapproval of my promotion, but everyone else seems to be ok."

"Who could possibly disapprove of Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

He chuckled. "Not everyone falls for my charm as easily as others."

"I did fall pretty easily, all it took was your back side and I was smitten. Maybe I should've fought harder."

Carlisle finished his wine and sat the glass down. "I still wouldn't have let you go that easily, I'm a persistent man. I tend to get what I want."

"Then make sure you remember that when you go into work, you've got the job. Show them you're more than capable of performing well above anyone's expectations."

"You should be a motivational speaker, you always seem to know the right words." Carlisle grabbed my cup from my hand.

"Right words to inspire or right words to turn you on?" I asked while Carlisle pushed my legs apart so that he could be in between them.

"I don't want to talk about work when I've got this beautiful woman in front of me that I've been daydreaming about what I would do to her once I see her. Don't you want to find out just how wild my imagination can be?"

I leaned forward and took his lips to mine. "Say no more, just show me."

I began to work on his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it down his broad shoulders. Once that was gone, I pulled the undershirt over his head and tossed it with his button down. My hands couldn't keep themselves away from his skin, moving down his chest to feel hard muscles.

He got me out of my blouse just as swiftly, lowering me further on the couch so that I was lying directly underneath him.

The sound of someone's throat clearing stilled us both. We looked to see that we were no longer alone.

"Mom?!" Renée stood in my living room, a look of pleasant surprise. Which is not a normal look for a mother who just walked in on her daughter with a man.

Carlisle was off of me and on his feet in seconds. Yanking his shirt off the floor and pulling it back over his head.

"You haven't told me that you were seeing anyone," I watched as she sized Carlisle up. "Unless this is just a fling."

"I'm Carlisle Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand.

"Wait. You can't be the same Carlisle Esme talks about," my mom looked to me to explain.

"What are you doing here?" I was more concerned with her sudden intrusion.

"I came to drop off a few things for Jas and I also haven't heard from you, so two birds one stone." She pointed to Carlisle. "Enough about me. Explain."

I groaned. "Mom, I gave you a key for emergencies."

"Not hearing from my daughter for a week is an emergency." Renée looked from me to Carlisle. "Since Bella is adamant about ignoring my questions, I'll ask you Carlisle. What's going on between you and my daughter? I can only imagine that there's only one Dr. Carlisle Cullen in the Los Angeles area, so you must be the colleague that Esme speaks of."

"You're correct, I work at the hospital and I'm good friends with Esme." Carlisle was clearly nervous and just as equally embarrassed.

"Esme said she'd connect you two, but I'm sure this isn't exactly what she meant. Aren't you the same age as us?"

"Alright!" I stepped in between them. "Mom, I was going to tell you about Carlisle when you came for the commencement. We met at the conference in San Francisco before Esme could introduce us to one another, _before_ we realized who the other person was."

"So this has been going for three months? Does Esme know? She better not if you haven't even told me about it."

"No, no one knows except Jasper."

She looked between the two of us. "This isn't over, I have more questions. Carlisle, how about you and I sit and talk in the kitchen."

"No! Mom…"

"It's fine Bella," Carlisle followed behind my mother, giving me a reaffirming look.

I followed them in disbelief, sitting down next to my mother at the kitchen table. Carlisle sat across from us; it seemed as if he was able to gain control over his emotional state.

"I'd like to say that when I approached your daughter, I didn't know our close connection. I went out with her because I was truly interested in her as a person. Finding out she was a student of Esme's was alarming, also someone who I might potentially be working over didn't make my decision easier."

"But that didn't stop you from seeing her?"

"I knew what my intentions were, so at that point it didn't matter." Carlisle answered truthfully.

"What are your intentions exactly? You see a young woman and what? You wanted to rejuvenate your youthful exuberance?"

"Mom!" I couldn't believe this was happening.

"My daughter is nineteen years younger than you, what could possibly interest you that a woman your age couldn't?"

"You don't have to answer that," I cut in. "Renée you're being ridiculous! I'm an adult and I don't need you coming into _my _life and _my _apartment questioning my decisions."

"I'd be a liar if I said it was anything other than Bella's beauty that attracted me to her. I knew she was much younger than me and she knew as well. I considered leaving her alone, but then I found out that she is intelligent, funny and has many other great qualities, but what is different about her is that she brings me life in a way I've never experienced before. I can't recall a time that I've enjoyed being around someone as much as I do being with Bella."

He looked at me and I gave him a comforting smile.

"Honestly, I couldn't care less about your age Carlisle. I know my daughter and she's not an idiot, so I know that she thought this through. But what I'm actually concerned about is how difficult this will make Bella's life once she begins to work. People won't come after you Carlisle, not as nearly as much as they will Bella. They will accuse her of things you two may know to be false, but that won't stop someone from trying to make her job harder and make her suffer."

"That's for me to worry about when the time comes, as of right now I still haven't received the job and I might not. I just want to enjoy my time with Carlisle…alone. Just him and I." I knew she grasped the hint, she just chose to ignore me.

"Dr. Cullen, I'm trusting that you'll take care of Bella."

"Please, it's just Carlisle and I can't tell you how much I value your trust."

Finally she stood. "Walk me to my car, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and obliged her. Once we were out the house, she slapped me on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" I grabbed the stinging flesh.

"He's handsome! Those blue eyes, you can just get lost in them for hours!" She finally released her true form. "You like him right? Enough to keep around long enough for me to brag about the hot doctor that my daughter has wrapped around her finger? And he has aged so well, those arms…"

"Mom!" I whined. "Please stop. I like him, a lot and I would appreciate it if you called before you come barging in next time. And I would like to be the one to tell Esme."

"Fine, but I expect to see you both for dinner soon. Or else I will be planning another surprise visit."

I turned her and began to push her to her car. "Good night, tell Phil I said hello and I'll see him Friday for the commencement."

"Will Carlisle be there?" She asked opening the door to her car.

"Why would he be there?"

"Because his girlfriend is graduating, of course he should attend!"

"Did you not hear any of the conversation we just had? Including what came from your own mouth? No one knows and we plan to keep it that way."

"He should at least join us for dinner then, make sure you invite him! I love you!" She got into the car so that I could no longer protest.

"Bye Mom," I turned on my heels and went back into the house.

Carlisle was waiting on the couch.

"She wants to see you at dinner Friday night after my commencement."

"I'll clear my schedule." He smiled, but I could tell he was still worried about my mom.

I climbed onto his lap and his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I can promise you that my Mom is nothing for you to be concerned about, she's already planning to trap you for good." I wrapped my arms lazily around his neck. "She approves of you, you would know if she didn't."

"Trap me for good?" His hands worked under my blouse. "Sounds interesting, what exactly does that mean?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she brings up marriage Friday. I would like to apologize ahead of time and please don't give her any answer because you feel pressured to have one."

"I won't, I promise. I'll be as honest as possible."

I smiled, looking into Carlisle's eyes. "My mom was right, I could get lost in your eyes for hours."

My heart seemed to skip a beat when a look of delight that followed by a smile appeared on his face.

I could record this as the moment I concluded that I was falling in love with Carlisle. Or I was already in love with him and I had just now come to the realization.


	8. Chapter 7

Becoming Dr. Isabella Swan was a feat that I dreamed of for years and now as I tried to get Renée to stop wailing in public, it felt surreal. There were nights I felt like I'd never make it, that it would be too much. But when they called my name, all of my worries seemed to go away forgotten.

Finally Phil managed to quiet his wife down, patting her on her back while she buried her face in his shoulder.

"Enough Renée, this is your third time," Esme was just as over it as Phil and I.

"I'm just so proud of my baby, I was just changing your diapers and now you've got your doctorate."

Her eyes were red and swollen, she wiped at them with a crumpled piece of tissue.

She did this to me at every graduation, even at my kindergarten graduation, she tried to cry silently, but all you hear is her whimpers behind the camera while she recorded me on stage.

Esme shook her head. "My kids think I'm embarrassing, I should record this and prove them wrong."

"I'll vouch for you."

She gave me a look of pity. "You poor child."

We laughed, my mother's bottom lip quivering before she burst into more tears.

"Jeeeez," I dropped my head, no longer caring about the people that stared as they walked by.

When I lifted my head back up, I was greeted by the sight of Carlisle making his way to us. He carried a bouquet of flowers in his hand. I caught the dumb grin that would've gotten me in trouble if Esme would've seen it along with who I gave it to.

"Hello everyone," Carlisle stepped into our small circle.

"Carlisle? What are you doing here?" Esme asked and I wanted to know as well, I told him Esme would be here and that it would be strange if he came.

"You haven't stopped talking about your prodigy student graduating so I felt the need to at least make a brief appearance to congratulate her."

He handed me the flowers. "Congratulations Dr. Swan, I look forward to your interview tomorrow."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous." I took the lilac and calla lily bouquet, I hadn't even told him they were my favorite and somehow he figured it out.

"You're a bright young woman, I can tell from our few encounters so I know the rest of the board will recognize that as well. I have to head out, unfortunately I have stop by an old colleague's office."

"Thank you again for the flowers," I gave the most generic smile I could give.

"Esme, I'll see you soon." Carlisle said and then looked to Renée and Phil. "I'm sure you're very proud parents."

That was Renée's cue to continue her crying.

Carlisle looked at Esme and I bewildered.

"Just go," Esme sighed.

And he was off just as quickly as he came.

"Phil, take her home. I'll drop Bella off when we get ready to leave."

He nodded in agreement. "Hopefully she'll calm down by the time we go out for dinner."

"Doubtful." I mumbled while he took my mom away.

Rose appeared, flowers in hand as well, wrapping me into a hug.

"Can you believe it?! I remember the days in Chicago as if they were yesterday and now look at us! Doctors!" She exclaimed.

She hugged Esme. "And in no small part to you! I'm so glad I was able to work with you! Thank you so much for all you've done for us."

"The pleasure is all mine, you two are like daughters to me, so it brings me great joy to see this day come." Esme grinned at us both. "I'm excited to see your next steps and I'll always be with you if you ever need help."

"That means so much to us Esme," Rose beamed back.

Rose looked behind her at the sound of her name. "My family is looking for me, I'll see you both soon!"

She rushed off and Esme turned her attention to me. "Would you mind accompanying me to my office? I need to pick up something before I'm able to drop you off."

"Sure," we left the auditorium filled with graduates and their loved ones.

We walked through the campus and to the building where her office resides.

"You think you're prepared for tomorrow?" Esme asked while we walked.

"I don't think I'll ever feel fully prepared, there's so much I could talk about. I'm as ready as I can be without causing anxiety."

"I believe in you, you'll be amazing at this position, just do exactly what you've been doing: Enjoying your work."

"That shouldn't be too hard then," I felt a bit more reassured.

Esme opened her office door and allowed me to enter first. I was surprised to see Carlisle was there as well.

We laid eyes on each other, both of us clearly puzzled.

"Sit down," she told us both and we obeyed.

She sat behind her desk and leaned forward, resting her arms on the desk. "We're all busy people so I'll try to keep this brief. I've known you both for a considerable amount of time, so it baffles me to think you both thought I must be dense enough to not see what's been going on between the two of you."

Silence fell in the office, we couldn't even deny her accurate accusation.

She looked from me to Carlisle. "I hope the two of have actually considered the consequences this could bear for you both. Carlisle you're the chief of surgery, if and when this gets out, many will accuse you of partiality, even if you no longer work in the neurology department. And Bella, they will say that you slept your way into your position. Are you truly able to allow your credibility and intellect to be put into question because of your relationship with Carlisle?"

She posed valid concerns, in a way that I hadn't thought of.

Carlisle took my hand in his and Esme took note.

"I'm not saying I disapprove, you both are adults and too stubborn for my opinion to even matter anyway. I care about you both and I would hate to see the two of you hurt."

"We'll be fine, I'll make sure of it," Carlisle's confidence wasn't a surprise, but with this being Esme, I wasn't so certain anymore.

"And what about your parents Carlisle? They'll never approve, so you really want her to go through what your brother and sister in law had to endure?"

"So I'm supposed to be miserable because of my parents? You know just as well as I do that no one that I could actually love will satisfy them, so why even bother." Carlisle's voice became slightly raised.

"This isn't just anyone for me, this is Bella. I won't simply stand by and watch her get hurt when all of this could've been avoided with common sense." Esme was also beginning to get upset.

"You think I'm just using her? For what? I care about Bella and I appreciate you voicing your opinion, but I'd rather you'd stay out of it."

"Alright, let's stop right here before someone has to apologize. Esme, we weren't hiding from you, we were just looking for the right time to tell you."

Esme gave Carlisle a look that told me that they weren't finished.

"We should be heading out to meet Renée and Phil," Carlisle said to me, but he watched his friend and colleague with a hard glare. Evidently, he was.

The drive to the restaurant started off in silence, honestly I had no idea on where to begin because this was new territory. That, along with the disturbed mood Carlisle was in made it difficult to conjure up the right words. Not too far below the first two reasons of silence was the one that I battled with internally: Esme was right.

If it got out that Carlisle and I were dating, who knows what would become of it. Assuming that I even got the position, I had no way of assuring my colleagues that my relationship with Carlisle did not effect my work nor did he aide me in acquiring my position. And since I would have been picked over those who appeared to be more qualified than myself, it would only be further fuel to the flame.

With a hefty sigh, I let go of the line of thought that I knew I could chase forever.

"Please don't tell me Esme got to you," Carlisle responded to my noisy release of breath.

"She's not wrong Carlisle," I bit my lip, unsure of how he would take my words.

He didn't respond immediately, but his posture grew further aggressed.

I wasn't sure if I was now on his shit list with Esme.

"If we worry about what others think, we'd never get anywhere in life. We'd be miserable clowns, entertaining the thoughts and opinions of others whilst we die inside."

"I didn't say I disagreed with you either Carlisle, our relationship involves just the two of us. No one else has a say in it, however, I can't help but wonder how my relationships with my colleagues will pan out because of my relationship with you."

Once again, I allowed him to ponder on what that meant for me. Communication could be difficult, bias opinions whether conscious or not could make my time at the hospital more difficult than need be if I weren't associated with Carlisle.

"I'm not suggesting we consider ending our relationship, that's not on the table," I quickly threw that out there to reassure him.

"Then why have this conversation? We don't even plan on telling anyone at work in the first place; it'll never be there business to know what happens between us."

This was clearly a sour topic and instead of further ruining his mood, I took Carlisle's hand in mine.

"Hey, I don't even have the position yet, so let's not even concern ourselves with something that isn't even certain. Right now we should be focused on the fact that we are headed to my untimely demise," I redirected our conversation to a more pressing issue.

Dinner with my boyfriend with my mom and Phil. Phil I had no worries about, it was my mother that always had me on edge.

"Renée is unpredictable, so expect anything to be said tonight. Nothing is off the table."

I shuddered at the memory of when they met the first time, I could only hope that was the worst of their future interactions. But I knew better.

"I like your mom, she's refreshing. You don't meet many people with her candor." He took the bait and steered from Esme's words of apparent disapproval and warning.

"She's a wild card, it's not candor, it's carelessness."

Carlisle chuckled, a positive sign that allowed me to loosen up myself. "Perspective," he shrugged.

"Stick around long enough and you'll change your mind," I said.

"It's doesn't bother you that I'm meeting your family so soon, does it?"

He was parking the car near the restaurant when he asked the question. We got out, coming back together with our fingers interlocked before I gave a response.

"Honestly, my last boyfriend met my mom and Phil once or twice in a span of three years. It was important that he met them because I value their opinions and I want to see what they think of the person I'm with. But I think I knew that we were just wasting time, which is why I didn't bring him around as much. I'll admit, it is sooner than I'm used to, but this is also something like I've never had before."

We walked hand in hand down the street amongst others in the night, pondering what that last part of my sentence meant. What was so different about Carlisle that he was already meeting those whom I love most. If I were being completely truthful, was it because I was falling so quickly for him?

I shoved the scandalous thought deep down when we made it to the restaurant, I gave Carlisle a quick smile that stemmed from discomfort while he held the door for me. I searched the restaurant and found Renée at a corner booth in the back of the establishment. Right beside her was Phil and across them sat Jasper.

What the shitty fuck Renée?!

Nope, this was completely my fault I hadn't told her the truth of what has been happening between Jasper and I, so how would she know not to invite Jasper.

As we approached, I said a prayer that tonight would end well. But with my luck, that was unlikely.

The potential issue at hand was that I had made sure to keep Jasper and Carlisle as far from each other as possible. While Jasper worked through what he felt towards me, I thought it would be best for him to avoid interacting with Carlisle. Both were territorial and possessive and it was recipe for disaster to have them in the same room with me present.

"Is that Jasper?" Carlisle said behind me, his hand moving to my waist told me he knew the answer to his own question.

I didn't bother answering, instead I debated making a run for it. I think I stood a good chance of escaping this personally designed version of hell.

Jasper spotted us first, his eyes locking onto Carlisle first and then me. He held the same expression that he showed the world, but I could tell that something else brewed beneath the surface. With one last moment of the intense gaze, Jasper stood from the booth as soon as we were directly in front of me.

"Congrats, it's been a long time coming," he enveloped me in his arms as soon as Carlisle's arm was removed from my waist. "I'm proud of you."

It wasn't odd that he hugged me, but given the circumstances that only three of us knew of, it felt as if he was being an asshole. But there wasn't a way to verify, so I wrapped my arms around him and returned the hug. His scent surrounded, my favorite fragrance that he owned, sent a chill through.

My body betrayed me, turning on at the familiar scent that brought forth many memories of comfort and ecstasy. Ending the hug before my mind went further down the rabbit hole.

"Thanks Jasper, mostly for dealing with the mental meltdowns." Between him, Alice and Rose they had been responsible for helping me back on my feet when I got discouraged and gave up along the way.

"Anytime," Jasper replied back.

"Jas, have you met Carlisle?" Renée called him by his nickname.

The two men looked at one another. "Yes, we've been introduced."

"How's it been? Club still doing well?" Carlisle was civil, always polite and cordial.

Jasper nodded. "We've been preparing for the summer, we always get a huge spike in business. How is the new position goin'?" Jasper spoke the question out of obligation.

"As good as expected," we piled into the booth, with me sitting between the two men. "It's going to take a little longer to get comfortably adjusted to the role; until then I'll be spending a considerable amount of time at the hospital."

"Which is why I told you that you didn't have to come," I glared at my mother while I spoke.

"I just wanted us to get familiar with one another, it's been a long time since Bella has brought anyone around. This is a monumental time for the family," Renée clapped her hands with an intention to be overdramatic.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile that appeared.

"Carlisle, tell us about yourself," Phil interjected.

Carlisle began to rattle off info I knew, giving a condensed version of his life, answering questions from Phil and Renée along the way. He seemed at ease, a bit more relaxed than his first awkward encounter with my mom. His thumb on my thigh, rubbing light circles, told me he was a little on edge.

At one point the waitress came and took our orders, bringing a bottle of wine for Renée, Carlisle, and I and a couple of bottles of beer for Phil and Jasper. Once we had the alcohol and a few jokes to lighten the mood, Carlisle seemed to relax even more, but his hand remained comfortably placed in between my thighs. Although I was hyper aware of it, he didn't do anything that revealed ulterior motives of its placement.

While we waited, I had noticed that outside of speaking to Phil and my mom, Jasper remained silent. Which was typical except I knew Jasper and this silence wasn't his introverted tendencies. He was choosing to not be apart of the conversation with Carlisle. I guessed he figured the exchange of pleasantries at the beginning of dinner was enough. As the night carried on, I grew more agitated with my childhood friend and his childish game. But since he didn't do anything overtly petty, I kept it to myself.

"Jas, how is Alice? I'm surprised she isn't here with you." Renée's ignorance to their breakup hit me like a high speed softball to the gut.

My head turned to watch Jasper, how was he going to spin this? My heart rate spiked.

"We broke up," he took a swig of his beer, it was his third one.

Silence fell amongst the group. "Why?! I thought for sure she was the one for you, she was the sweetest young woman."

My mother truly adored Alice, honestly who didn't. My mood further plummeted at the idea of me having to eventually telling my mom what happened.

"To be honest, I knew for a while that I wasn't in love with her like I thought. I realized there was someone else who I cared for."

Shit shit shitty shit shit. I grabbed my glass and took a huge gulp of wine, unable to control my anxiety. Renée's face was perplexed as she computed the information Jasper gave her.

"Well, that's unexpected. Are you going to be ok?" My mom said with maternal concern.

"No, not because of Alice, but because the woman I want doesn't want to admit that she feels the same."

Heat flashed upwards into my face, anger, disbelief and panic swirling together to make a deadly cocktail.

"Jasper," I said his name as a warning, looking at him with a glare that spoke volumes.

"My sweet boy," Renée's empathetic tone completely drowned me out. She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Maybe you can help me talk some sense into her. You see, she started dating this guy and I've wanted to tell her that it was a stupid decision. Not just because I'm in love with her, but because she'll only wind up getting hurt. The relationship is filled with many obstacles, many that I've expressed and I know others have told her and will continue to. She's not thinking clearly."

Carlisle grabbed my hand, as if he knew that I was seconds from blowing up. My lips were pressed together as I glared down at my food, unable to look anywhere else.

"I mean a doctor that's nearly 20 years older and her potential boss," Jasper spat venomously while turning to look at me. "It's stupid, right Bella?"


End file.
